the greeter

banks are as fun to deal with as jock itch

The Greeter

 

I was in the bank the other day

a greeter met me just to say,

“So glad you’re here... glad you came by!

Please bank with us...we’re very sly!

We rape and pillage your account...

there is no minimum amount

you need to keep here day-to-day

We f**k you in so many ways.”

“We take off all your checks tonight...

the largest first...that is our right...

we leave the small ones ‘til the last

that’s when we make money fast!”

 

They do it all with beaming smile

and tuck it to you all the while

they want your money...give you none

I know I’m not the only one.

“We’ll give you credit that’s our role...

we’ll get you deeper in the hole.”

They catch you sitting on your lees;

they paint you red with all their fees.

Life isn’t very easy now

and at their feet we have to bow

and while we’re begging on our knees

they’re racking up those kneeling fees!

 

The greeter’s smile with honey drips...

mellifluous with banking tips.

“You’re in the red? Zero amount?

Why don’t you get one more account?

We’ll get to charge you fees on two...

a credit card before we’re through

with interest, and penalties

and open, closing, using fees.

Next we protect your overdraft

You don’t want this? You must be daft!

You have to get this...can’t you see?

you robbing us of one more fee!”

 

So ludicrous...I start to smile

sardonic grin imbued with guile.

There is no way to win their game...

ten years will pass and be the same.

I thought it out and hatched a plan

we’ll circumvent the middle man!

We’ll work all week...we’ll earn our pay...

direct deposit...that’s our way...

not in our own but their account...

then they won’t have to sneak about.

Just take it all right from the start

and leave us just our bleeding heart!

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

Clever, imaginative, with excellent rhyme and meter, also very true. No, banks and bankers aren't well thought of and never have been. My grandfather put all of his savings in a fruit jar and hid it in a stump. Problem was, he never could find that stump again. Maybe a matress would be better.

[deeps]

LOL!! This is to cute, i enjoyed this read.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

LOL!!!~ oh what wicked stabbing humor!!!~ love it!!!~

[.]

bravo!! LOL rhyme and meter brilliant and the it was so relevant for today...that's made my day. great write