First love

This is the least fave of my poems n i wonder why i bothered not because of what or who its about but because i dont think i could do it justice. That and im not good at positive subjects however it has a hint of sadness too it still lol.

I didn't know what i was heading to,
couldn't know i would fall.
Couldn't see what was infront of me,
couldn't of forseen it at all.

I learnt not to love to fast,
but you taught me to open up.
You were my shoulder,

the place to let my tears drop.

Our hearts turned our worlds
and we stayed there all day.
Our actions unleashed our thoughts
and we never lost our way.

Our first day, with out first kiss.
Love you forever and always and a little bit after.
With another day, with no last kiss.
See you around my darling in another chapter.

Author's Note

If anyone could help me refine it or advise me that be great, however all comments all welcomed

Reviews

[BLFK]

Let me see, this is different. . . I adore love poetry. And I find it easy to tell if a person has experienced one-on-one love with someone or just read about it. This seems like you're experienced it. Because all your words are (in a way, they all connect) like mine, when writing love pieces. But what stuck out with me, while reading this, was the fact that you are using unique words. I l-o-v-e unique use of words. Here, let me tell you which bits I'm referring to:

"Our hearts turned our worlds
and we stayed there all day.
Our actions unleashed our thoughts
and we never lost our way,"

I love that and also:

"Our first day, with out first kiss.
Love you forever and always and a little bit after.
With another day, with no last kiss.
See you around my darling in another chapter,"

That's very interesting in your descriptive-ness. You chose words that gave "life" to the piece and played with my mind. "in another chapter," is a choice of words I've never heard, and yet, I loved the thought. If I was to critique you, I'd say, try to strech yourself and use fewer remarks of "i" or "me". Try to describe your main character with life and not just ''me", "she", "her", you get the idea. But, of course, that's being picky. Overall, this was a good piece, and I enjoyed it.
BLFK