Merry-Go-Round

written a few months ago... maybe 3 or 4

Sky spinning
Fast in circles
Rotating
As I lay on my back.

 

Everyone around laughing
Playing
Joyous yells
Coming from all.

 

I lay silent on my back
On the merry-go-round
Scenes from my imagination
Play out around me
Invisible to all but me.

 

I turn up the music
And close my yes.
Allow myself to imagin
Allow my mind to run free
Bringing me to “the house”
The one I see so clearly
The on I yearn to create
I walk through it
And stumble across someone

 

This someone is the one I tell everything to
The one I cry to at night
The one who listens and comforts
But never has much to say
The one I fall asleep to
With his arms around me
Contaning me and protecting me as I sleep

 

He is there in my dreams
Helping me, saving me
But sometimes he disappears
And everything gets dark and silent
Terrifying creatchers and people appear
They begin to hound me
They torture me with my own past
Remind me of all my regrets.

 

I begin to cry
The house crumbles
Leaving the roof on the first floor
And the beautiful windows shattered
Jagged edges left everywhere
And he has again disappeared.

 

My eyes snap open
As my heart shatters again
It breaks with disappointment
I cant escape even to my dreams anymore.

 

Its dark now
Most everyone is gone
And I am no longer spinning
I look down to the ground
The rocks are pushed aside
Where others have walked and ran
Spinning this merry-go-round with glee.

I place my feet and begin to spin again
Around and around
Never really getting anywhere
Just as my life has been doing for a few years now.

Author's Note

any help would be greatly apreciated!! any thoughts
i used to just LOVE this one but i look at it now and i find little things here an ther ei dont like that i cant seem to figure out how to fix. so i would love some help here. thoughts, opinions, anything is apreciated.

Reviews

[The Mad Prophet]

Just as my life has been doing for a few years. Leave out the now, it would flow easier. "Creature", but I only helped with that spelling because I knew that one. I use Word to fix all my many mistakes.

I like this one alot, it deos not need much work. I think what ever you did to write this is you key to writing more. I think the Mad Prophet has done all he could to help you, no the you disciple must walk the path of improvement, and shall feel the need to request the Mad Prophet to read anything she wants to try to improve.

I am always welling to help, actually it makes me fell better when I can help. Nice poem, good luck :)