Ring Around...

Ring Around...

A Poem by dorkfish
"

lines were stuck in my mind during science and so i took the time to see where it would go

"

Ring around the rosy
        Rose colored glasses
        making everything look oaky

Pocket full of posies
        flowers to sway my judgment
Ashes, ashes
       my heart is plagued by love
We all fall down
       on a bed that later I will regret.

© 2008 dorkfish


Author's Note

dorkfish
thank you for taking the time to read this, now if you would take just a few moments to review it and help me get better i would apreciate it =)

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Featured Review

Hmmm... i'm not one for nursery rhymes - although i am a mom - strange isn't it. I am a bit puzzled by this. I think to get the final feel this one requires a read through more than once.
Ok - so after reading this 5 times plus - i have come to the conclusion that i am not in love with it. Although I am in awe by the last 2 lines. I think that they are the power of the poem. But i do not see a strong enough connection to the final line throughout the rest of this. It is quite confusing to me. But maybe this is your style and other's might understand and apreciate it more than i.
I almost have the urge to take those last lines and start a poem with them. so this i suggest to u.

I will read more from u and hopefully will find the beauty in your work for i believe there is beauty in all poetry

PS: welcome to the cafe

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

very good. interesting, and i would have never thought to right something like that.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hmmm... i'm not one for nursery rhymes - although i am a mom - strange isn't it. I am a bit puzzled by this. I think to get the final feel this one requires a read through more than once.
Ok - so after reading this 5 times plus - i have come to the conclusion that i am not in love with it. Although I am in awe by the last 2 lines. I think that they are the power of the poem. But i do not see a strong enough connection to the final line throughout the rest of this. It is quite confusing to me. But maybe this is your style and other's might understand and apreciate it more than i.
I almost have the urge to take those last lines and start a poem with them. so this i suggest to u.

I will read more from u and hopefully will find the beauty in your work for i believe there is beauty in all poetry

PS: welcome to the cafe

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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2 Reviews
Added on June 17, 2008

Author

dorkfish
dorkfish

About
I love music, it keeps me alive on a daily basis. I'm that girl you might see in your class but never know her name, or you see in the hall completely oblivious to the world with my head phones in and.. more..

Writing
... ...

A Poem by dorkfish