i know a girl who saw monsters

In the works is a wide spectrum view of human nature. Below you will find a vague but personal to me musing on dichotomies of a spiritual nature. Participation requests are in review notes. Proceed.

Hello. I really appreciate the time you've already given, the time your considering currently is truly a gift to me. This is my first submission, really of my life. I love writing, I love researching and I hope a few folks out there find my words more than a waste of time. I felt might add some shape, fill in some blanks but mostly encourage people to throw some communication my way. Human nature I find to be an incredibly interpretative personal topic. This is one of many quick outlines I have tapped out watching a football game. Because I am so green, it's safe to say I haven't found my voice just yet. A very frustrating admittance, I have something to say. I'm no expert on anything but struggles which has recently turned a loose longterm anthology into a passion to begin guaging some interest, opening some dialog and hopefully sharing what I believe to be remarkably compelling conclussions. My gorgeous brilliant fiance a forensic anthropologist and currently serving as a case manager archaeologist has been kind enough to privy me to an archive of current and historical data. I feel the need to stress, I don't know if I am a good writer but in a few hour period I typed this on my phone. I haven't edited or spell checked. Admittedly I'm overly critical of myself
..I haven't read it either. Don't go away! If you found me based on common interests, let me invite your participation. My digression is epic yes and your time is precious. Allow me to close with this. Our unique life experiences, medical, forensic and cultural data i believe will demonstrate and captivate. Theres been what i consider a deriliction of duty on behalf of science and medical fields in connecting with the general public. Moreso, a waste of money in pursuit of agendas not being relayed. Below is an anstract personal musing. Read it, skim it whatever! We live in a remarkable time, amazing things are quietly happening. This morning felt like the time to come out of my shadow and humbly offer what i hope youll find to be provacative, but if your a dick I would love to argue with you just the same. Get involved, redefine your nature and let's pick each other up and get personal. I'm gonna go dump this ice water on sleeping beauty and smack her in her giant head with this stinky pillow now!




Hold fast to your precepts when they are restored. From your adjoined recognitions as to first change your heart not disguise it. This world works in unison with our human nature, a nature not at all natural, jointly hidden purposefully in a costume. Humanity to me refers not to an ecological or cultural encompassment of persons but images fabricated in such a deceitful way, denial can be seen as a factual science. Our introduction to loving arms demands the tearing of flesh and agony with an unmatched intensity. Human nature begins that moment. I was born as a torturer, unapologetic, ungrateful, and would seek to abandon my victim after draining all the life I could without being found out.
The stage is set, immediately we are gifted a capacity for hate and an aptitude to destroy. We are accompanied by a cloak we will never outgrow designed and assigned to perpetrate our selfish desires with impunity for the duration of our hourglass. Gracefully, my first memory and gory beginning has been eradicated from my mind, a clean slate is offered and nature becomes each individuals to define. I see it as a challenge to overcome an existence carnal in nature greedy and dangerous. Duality is our freedom and divine function over malevolent creature is reflected in nearly every choice we make. The very idea of divinity incarnate is dangerous, ultimately a direct slight against a biological reflection. Safe to suffice, we are alien in nature and simply machined to environmental standards. Variance in genetics for example is seen as an evolutionary mechanism for mentally and physically healthy offspring. While good health is seldom bad news our biology seems survivable more as a time capsule, astronauts in space suits.
Temple and prison have been commonly used when describing the physical body, and the aluminum prison mirror echo's reflections congruent to the calm cool water beholden to the courtyard fountains a temple might provide in prayer and supplication. Longingly gazing into a bathroom mirror people see a person, but truly nothing natural. What manner of evil habitually and intentionally lies to themselves? We pine for tastes of our own honey, and our flesh rewards our created soothing resonances so poisonously coated. I use my cloak I was given at birth. I drink my own poison and relish and revile the one willing to consume. We primp and pamper while filling our bellies with the finest of delectables. We make ourselves like gods, denying nothing of desire, hating humility and longsuffering. Loathing the patient frustrating process an route to knowledge and wisdom. Oh the irony in the preservation wisdom provides. Oh the freedom that truth brings about. Strength could never spring from pain and humility has no connection to power.
Human nature is not based in natural laws or theories. Moreover, it is a direct and specific choice given multiple times each day. Seek narrow paths, abhor destruction, love selflessly and subject yourself not for pleasure but a heart of service.
Will we acknowledge this place as a detour? Will accountability determine choices? I am a foreigner in a foreign land, even an alien not cursed but blessed. Given an image and challenge, and tools so proficient and personalized so that I may have mastery over the desires of my heart and take great pleasure in the works of my hands. I will recognize this time as a test and a trust. I though, brought with me into this place an antithesis. It remains accessible. Compulsions and temptations break my spirit and separate me my commission. I am predestined to wander arrogantly. I am hunted and my will to resist wanes. Convenience and bloodlust bring joy. My nature is dominant my desire is treacherous. Everyone is an enemy and I become prone to covet. My cloak gives speed to my downfall. I believe deceit and imprint it on my heart. Wisdom is replaced by logic compassion replaced by apathy and joy is replaced by pleasure. I'm awake, but I've forgotten my name. Scales are placed over my eyes to filter truth and create my own. I will create, I will be my own god. I see now my cloak is my darkness. I know it will never part. I fell in love with my reflection and have fled to the mountains. I am god, my anger is righteous. I am god I am allowed all things. Please do not look at me, duality has torn something opened. This is not evil, I am free.
It is an illusion and a betrayal to believe in blood and predicated a faith on flesh. I deceived myself by defining mirrors truth. My reflection in the light became my absolution. Betrayed by touch betrayed by pleasures. I was both followed and led, not seeing nature in the aesthetics meant for humanity. Our biology manifests a carnal mind and a world to entice it, subdue it and ultimately enslave it. Our countenance may mirror divinity, but a reflection gives no sway and will imitate all offering nothing genuine. A mimic has no wish to demonstrate only a command to replicate. I looked and my vanity resolved my truth. Humanity was power to reveal. Can the mirror not faced dually glimpse existence? How vain would the object of vanity become to see itself. Humanity thus defied all inclusive of conjuring creations. As preposterous as giving life to that lacking its functions, the suggestion of biological functions equating relations between humanity and all other organisms I find equally absurd.
Life needing no breath, a true deception desisting perception by the corridors endlessly hung back and forth trapped with no measurable distance great or small. Where physics, geometry and time offer explanation, no account for purpose can be deduced.
A young woman feels a void but stands intact, pain while obvious in her, does its damage in a disconnected resonance. Seemingly quality of life has been compromised, broken bones serve less agony than nothing pulling on nothing. Desperate defining offers no solace, she is intact. It radiates from the inside, but it is certainly not connected. Arms cut open, frantically searching any source of its emission. Acceptance seemed once like resignation. It's far more valuable to die in pain, only now she sees acceptance can heal the wound but only lessens the pain. Surrender becomes her battlecry. A battle of attrition, self mutilation done peacefully and a mirror with no reflection. Some things do not die with the body.
Darkness is both perpetual and inevitable. Shadows, another inevitability can  be rationalized away concealing its purpose confusing reality to reason. Should not the craftsman articulate his works value? Saying "wood is wood and is present abundantly" speaks boastfully of a creation also being a creator. The irreducibility complex of single cells shows complete loss of functionality given the slightest anatomical reduction. Wood without a carpenter are sticks. Shadows bathed in light cannot exsist. A shadow absent of light becomes absolute darkness. 
Nothing can seem more of an unfortunate privilege than a human existence. A shroud conceived to accompany my body past times authority predestined to return into nothingness. In the womb before my formation, my darkness waited for me. In my grave when my bones disintegrate, it will remain. Never mourning never joyous, benign, dutiful. The first and final piece of me waiting forever, no longer a purpose.  Being and wishing cannot trade reflection for friendship and no change will embolden your shadow a gesture unprovoked or a visit out of character. This demonstrates the nature of being human and alone. Solitude is freedom, Even the projections of ourselves are helpless against darkness. I have seen my darkness without its head, grotesque and unnatural in its embodiment. A subtle reminder of the hourglass set against me.  I have prest my eyes patient for retinal adjustment, blackness turns to darkness. Never have I possessed power to illuminate and willfully reveal. This world belongs to a great concealer. I hold no power over what it hides, true though that my darkness has hidden me from others at times. Lights cannot hide in the darkness, a path must be careful and deliberate. Just as night shrouds  all not illuminated, morning illuminates all. A dichotomy of absolution, seen and unseen but still equally consistent.
A servant devoid of deceit, loyalty unmatched disguised and elusive, pulled from your void thrown down and cursed to you. Capable of shape shifting and a contortionists ambivalence, my own reflection, unnaturally interpretable.
My own projection only revealed evil lacking authority to harm only to hide and harass. Indicative of an apparition, my authority nonexistent nonetheless fearfully enforced to no avail.
In darkness I hide from darkness and flee from light. Eluding the light blending myself into cover. I navigate seemingly unnoticed, traversing uneven terrain. My fear has left me hungry but I will not eat. Avoidance supersedes acceptance and surrender means a bloodlet. Hidden and happy, a cave provides my refuge. I remember the girl who cut open her arms. In the darkness pain deceives and in my foolishness I derive pleasure from dismemberment. The ups and downs provide indicators to let more blood out, but careful not to leave a trail. In the light enemies will want my life, a bloodlet for their own voids.
Blissful and in full surrender my blindness chooses my dead end. Here I stand perfectly still, an attempt at evasion likely ends with teeth on my throat. My arms are at my sides, hands squeezed and knuckles white. My shadow towers over me. I recognize myself, but derive no comfort. Faceless, lacking definition in limbs and free of flesh.  Monstrous, relentless, dejected, but unable to harm me.
My most natural vibrant reflection moves in predatory spurts despite stillness of heart. My mirror is a shadow and my nature is not biological. The mirrors truth can be viewed only when your shadow defies your countenance and reflects true nature. Inside me darkness so prevalent it casts itself out to spare the body. In or out, my reflection is bound to me. In my attempt to dig out this pain I have revealed myself. In darkness I take full form. Insatiable appetites and unnatural functions. We are bound together and I am fearful of my shadow. It cannot hurt me and closes the wounds I attempt to make fatal. Angrily hunting pleasures in leu of repentance. I would put my true self back inside me if I could bear the confusion. My selfishness and refusal for discomfort may preserve the ones I may have authority to harm. Hide in the darkness from the light, hide to conceal honesty. I have found a cave and made it bloody. My human nature isn't natural. My shadow is me. Mirrors are for comfort and denial.

Though independent and often avoiding, raise a concern in its absence, for attached is a mandate not subject to breath or movement and whether buried or burned, darkness is our nature. There is no humanity in a mirrors lie, only vanity so manufactured, both light and darkness deny it a companion. To be a change in this world, find your true reflection. My countenance shows dimensionless unfamiliar as life. Yet my presence provides its context. Wisdom does not seek to seperate from truth, but illuminate the spectrum of light truth contains.
The perils of earthly subjection converged nature, humanity, freedom, absolution, aesthetics, pleasures, needs, wants, morality all color and characterize the void in light linked to all of us. Time is our inevitability, tracking reality forcing shadows. Freedom from our nature defines humanity but being yolked to freedom alters humanity's reality. Morality provides a rudder aiding to discern aesthetics, pleasures, needs and wants. Absolution transcends all and replaces a ciclicle nature codependent on the passing of time. Countenance and shadows become simple aesthetics never to be a reflection of our truth, but to serve as a reminder of inevitable conclusions no longer absolute. It is then the darkness we attended too no longer reflects nature. Our humanity becomes complete from our purge nature. Humanity created in Gods image. Fallen but not forgotten, hunted but in vain, as we represent divinity in a carnal falible form should we simply acknowledge our shadow and deny our reflection?

Author's Note

Grammar is problematic. I lost count of run on sentences while I was writing. I'm almost certain most people will find things scatterbrained and totally certain if I went back and read it I would not have posted it. Human nature is unnatural? What is our role as people on the earth? Historically speaking has it changed? Has spirituality become the toes in the water or a comfortable stopping point for the dynamic of God? Are you in the mirror or in the shadow? Make your personal case? Without citing current research, how do you feel genetics distinguish non aesthetic individuality? Personal view of absolute limitations humans face? Do you find value in a predefined moral objectivity or choose your own interpretation? Do you interpret to permit things possibly impermissible? Can you think of 3 criminal charges non drug related that should be decriminalized? More important to read music and understand theory or to be creative and have a properly tuned ear? How pissed is my girl that I hid her morning drugs and threw ice water on her to wake her up? Black eye, bloody nose or forehead laceration? Truly appreciate it. Sincerely. Come back soon this is only the begining.

Reviews

[please dont abduct me]

First review came from my girlfriend. She called me a needy d****e and then asked if I would make her pancakes before I rubbed her feet.