Chapter Nine

“Well, uhhhh, gang, this may be a bit hard to fancy, but I assure you gentlemen this is no tall tale like the tail located on the behind of a lemur, but a tale that’s hard to digest, like a small tail on a dog, one that you routinely ponder as to why it even has a tail,” Don apprehensively stuttered.

“Don’t keep us waiting, Slider!  Deuce and I were actually strolling our way to the schoolyard to catch the school’s kick-the-can squad play their matchup,” Deuce merrily exclaimed as he kicked the lively corn stock just as a gentleman would kick a nomadic individual begging for a few spare coins on the street post.

“Deuce, why did you articulate, ‘Deuce and I?’" Bugs questioned.  "You were both the Deuce and the I in that particular clause; Ms. SaurAppel would have your lunch (and she would applaud my proper use of a semicolon) for entertaining such a blasphemous statement.”

Deuce’s chin began to fluctuate into an ungentlemanly twitch that soon overtook the young man’s nostrils from embarrassment.  “Bugsy, isn’t it dreadful  enough that we are already a few shades tardy for cheering on our mates, and now YOU ACCUSE ME OF THIS!?  BUGS, YOU’RE A SQAURE, A NANCY, A SISSY, AND AN ATHEIST!” Deuce swore as he angrily kicked two lively corn stocks just as a gentleman would kick two nomadic individuals begging for a few spare coins on the street post.

“Deuce, I pledge to you that what you just stated in that particular sentence was improper.  I know that’s what you said -”

Just then, as a coyote would yell at the moon, Don interjected the two squabbling members of his gang.  “I BEG YOUR PARDON, BUT HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ABOUT MY TALE!?”  Don then realized something was amiss.  As he pitched out his arms in interjection, he noticed his claws were out and about where anyone could gaze upon them. 

Deuce then jarringly spoke up, “Slider, explain to us why your nails are out and about, where anyone can gaze upon them.”

“Slider, you don’t mean to tell us that you are readying a career with the school’s kick-the-can squad, do you?  Everyone in the schoolyard knows you have the talent for it!” Bugs exclaimed as he began to jollily laugh and clap his hands to and fro.

Although Donald was flattered by his fellow peers’ kick-the-can adulation he knew that he couldn’t delay the matter much too longer.  “Gentlemen, do you remember that oh so dreadful morning where I arrived a few moments too tardy, for my normal standards, to partake in our normal banter in the schoolyard?”

                As Bugs and Deuce were about to supply an answer, Donald wouldn’t have any of it as he burst into song: 

 

Weeellll, it was a fine sunny morrrning

In Nebraska

And a furry black dude

Said, “Let me ask ya,

Do you want to walk in brighter shooooooes?”

 

I said “Oh, yes,” but who says ‘no’, anyhow?

“What road will we walk together?”

“You will be as strong an ox

And light as a featheeeeerrrr

I will take you out of your box

You cannot touch water, however.

 

You are destined for a place far superior

Showers never mattered anywaaaaay

Just pick up your chin

Because together we’ll be gay

Forrrevvvver with a griiiinnn.”

 

          As Don broke out of his merry little tune he said, “And being a cat, gentlemen, is never a sin.”  Bugs and Deuce stood there with mouths ajar and not only knew the melody was every bit true, but understood every part of our hero’s journey down to the smallest detail. 

          “So when are we going to meet this cat fellow that gave you powers and you spoke so fondly of, Slider?”  Deuce questioned.

          “In due time, gentlemen, in due time.” Donald responded.  Now, how Bugs and Deuce knew about every detail from Donald’s musical number is still a mystery even for this narrator to comprehend.

Author's Note

I am currently on hiatus due to health problems. Look for more chapters of Donny Cat THE NOVEL soon.