Sunshine

Sunshine did it again.
Damn it.
She really didn't even think about it,
how she yet again went out of her way
to show him he's special...
I mean a care package really?
Chocolate and toy cars he liked to collect...
lemonade and maple bacon wrapped in tin foil,
like a child would...notes written on red oak leaves
so he could toss them out the window as he drove
so no one would know... she existed...F**k.
What is wrong with her...
It's not grade school passing notes to the boy in the front row
the one who's hair curls just so...
Why.
Why is she such a child at times, she asks herself
and for gods sake why doesn't she stop herself from
pouring hope into acts wishing someone would notice her.

You really need to learn to type Sunshine...

It only makes her sad in the early morning, before dawn,
when she's still lying in bed ,eyes open thinking about
beginning her day remembering the last.
On cue her cat, sensing her sadness, comes up on her chest
for some love.

This makes her cry harder and feel less like sunshine...
                        ­                              more like rain.

Oct.21 2011