Chapter 1

Wanda decides that enough is enough. Goodbye fatso, hello new me! Who would have thought that in her mission to eat less, she inadvertently bites off far more than she can chew

Walking down your local busy street on a Tuesday afternoon isn't a difficult task. It is a daily jaunt for many, to get to and fro from the office to home, to the grocery store just quickly to pick up some tomatoes and toilet paper because you forgot them yesterday. A well-trodden pathway for many, a tedious pilgrimage for one individual in particular, oh, there she goes again, Wanda of Wembley Avenue. Waddling as quickly as her swollen feet could take her, eyes down upon the pavement. She knows the pavers well enough that she can find her whole way home to her teeny tiny unit on the corner of Wembley and Camberley, with her gaze firmly averted from the would-be stares of disgust and disbelief. While there are nowhere quite as many passers-by glaring maliciously at Wanda as she believes, the heat of a thousand eyes burns like you would not believe...or perhaps it's her body screaming in protest from carrying two hundred kilograms down the length of Wembley Avenue for the second time today.

Despite the normality of the day - everything from the 5:15pm bus crawling from the curb to the temperature of the early summer evening, something was different. Wanda had an ever slightly spring in her shuffle, a determined increase in energy emanating from within, (maybe that's where the heat was being generated from). Something was pulling her, all the way past the 24hr convenience store with her favourite fudges lining the counter ever-so conveniently, and past the coin laundry where she finds herself far too often deep into a bag of Dorito's and Jackie Collins book. In fact, she ignored straight to her unit in a record time and not onto the couch where "Netflix and chill" has a grim meaning, but into the mostly untouched kitchen. 

Wanda has had many affairs with the word "diet", most of which has ended in tears, naturally. Those had been years ago, a decade really. When her set of scales broke on Christmas Eve 2005, Wanda decided that she was going to grant herself an early Christmas blessing. She was to swap worrying about how despicably obese she was (her words! I'm just the storyteller), she was going to love every inch of herself and be proud of her scale shattering mass.

It was all she could do to avoid killing herself.