Alive

the sweet simple life of those who feel just enough;
as sometimes I feel too much -
or most cases I don’t feel at all.
I usually lay, numb, blank, staring into space
not thinking of much at all.
but, at the same time thinking of everything.
words repeat; spiralling in my mind
for seconds, minutes and sometimes even hours.
I envy those who have a peaceful night sleep,
as I cannot get the spiralling words out of mind,
I grow to frustration as I toss and turn all night,
quite, quite, quite,
I want my mind to stop thinking…
which is ironic because I usually want it to start.
someone tell me
what it’s like to live a life
rather than just existing in one.