Lost

I never expected to be here. Its as if what i never wanted to happen came true. one day youre setting goals and next your crossing lines you set years earlier. 

I met her at a Warren Haynes show in 2005 trying to score some coke. Coke is a must if you know your gonna be drinking all night. Drinking is a must if your going to be smoking all night. smoking is a must if well...you know.  She had a smile that made you feel like she knew alot of secrets about you and her beanie always matched whatever Grateful Dead shirt she was wearing. She had long curly hair that spilled out like the crazy ideas she spout about like some roadside prophet that had all the answers. She saw me trying my best to be inconspicuous, but she knew what i wanted. I'm easy to spook and when she came over and asked in her own pragmatic way I wasnt much for words but we managed to work it all out. We talked, laughed, drank, and made love like my generation, that has made its name doing so, does so often. I never saw her after that night and it was only how things were. This couldn't last.

Over time i could act like this would all make me happy but its only going to make me bitter.  I am an a*s to people I meet almost like this arrogant version of myself is just a distraction to others to keep them from wondering anything else about me. I was at a place one time, along time ago and now i'm not. These memories make me yearn to be back, but it only rattles me and i limp home wanting more. I try to devise a plan to get back but it only aches me it fills me with tears to know where i could be.

Maybe i'm lost, maybe i'm missing the point.