Paper Ships

My childhood floated,
On a current of rainwater,
In the gutter, on a paper ship.

To weather the storm,
That life would bring,
To a boy of only six.

Down the hill,
Damns would fail,
We made of sticks and leaves.

We would right the ship,
Set the sail,
Swaying in a gentle breeze

Obstacles put before us,
would damage the ships
beyond repair.

They would leave is,
Shipwrecked and alone,
But really without a care.

I wonder to where,
All those paper ships sailed.,
Crowded ports,
Bustling with people?

Tossed about,
In a raging sea,
Homeward bound,
For you and me.

Captain faced a mutiny, when he,
Reached the bottom of my hill,
The crew wanted, to stay with me,
They'd be sailing, with me still.

Reviews

[D. Mansfield]

Made a couple changes and fixed typos, not sure if it reads better or not

[emmajoygreen]

Best I can and need say: a beautiful sense of belonging and having without greed. Kind words for Self and all others. Visual and heartfelt - a gift in an often mean world, thank YOU.

[D. Mansfield]

Thank you so much for reading and commenting on this. We really used to do this on the street I lived. It was a steep hill so the water was fast, so we damned it up. It was great fun

[Arundass TP]

A masterpiece poem. Very clear and philosophical touch. Loved it

[D. Mansfield]

Wow, wow, thank you so much, I greatly appreciate your words

[Costa Siwale]

I wonder to where,
All those paper ships sailed.,
Crowded ports,
Bustling with people?

I'd love to know this too.
Well written friend

[Chris Shaw]

Wonderful metaphor. The paper ships of childhood certainly taught us some lessons. I was caught up in the imagery, you took me back in time. I was there with you. A beautiful write Danny. Much enjoyed.

Chris

[D. Mansfield]

Your review has made my day Chris, thank you so much.

[Chris Shaw]

That is so pleasing to hear, you’ve lifted mine as well :)

[Manta Ray Lily]

I interpreted this poem as the transition from our childhood and entering our adulthood leaving all the childish memories we've had in the form of our memories symbolized as paper boats and the river to be the time passing by as we grow up. (Please correct me if I have wrongly deciphered it). Absolutely loved the symbolism used out there..... I really appreciate it. For such an extraordinary poem like this, a hint of rhyme scheme would make it overpowered is what I felt. Rather than that, there's nothing I would suggest as you've used every single element perfectly according to the poem. Lovely work, Mansfiled!

[D. Mansfield]

The rhyming was different on this, every other stanza. Thank you for your great review, I appreciate it alot

[Inkspire]

"The crew wanted to stay with me,
They'd be sailing with me still."
Some memories and experience never fade
Great poem!

[D. Mansfield]

Thank you so much, I like this poem too but was real unsure.

[Alice Reiht]

D. Mansfield, your poem is a poignant reminder of the boundless imagination and resilience of youth. The metaphor of the paper ship navigating through the storms of life is both vivid and thought-provoking. It captures the innocence and wonder of childhood, where the most trivial of adventures can feel like epic voyages. The rhythm of your verses is as unpredictable as the journey itself, which mirrors the erratic nature of the emotions we experience growing up.

[D. Mansfield]

Wow, thank you. It was just something we did when it rained all day growing up. I am very pleased that you liked it