Hear

Sweat beading on my brow,
Eyes dilated, seeing every thing.
My peripheral vision is 200 degrees,
I can almost, see behind my head.
Sounds are louder, I hear more,
Both higher and lower, than others do.
Even a breeze can agitate me.

I'm listening, always listening,
For a threat? An insult?
A cry for help?
Or just a noise intruding,
on my thought process?

I can hear things that a human can't hear,
Two blocks away a person talking quietly,
Conversations between friends,
All the way across town.
Alarms, tones, doorbells, all that hurt my ears.
Painful sessions that last hours,
Always a narrative, belittling, hating, ready for violence.

This is why my senses never rest,
It's a 24hr a day barrage of information, threats, advice.
Sometimes at a whisper, other times
Like a jet engine, rupturing my eardrums.

This runs in the background all the time.
As I make my way through the day I am always coping with this. Keeping it from people, because they wouldn't, couldn't if they tried, understand.
They would instantly write me off as crazy, making it so perfect. I am instantly discredited, open to ridicule.

The perfect weapon is what it is. . . Because no o e will ever believe it, as it slowly kills me. Perfect

Reviews

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

the downside of posessing a vivid imagination is that we think and Hear things we do not like it. i too am afflicted by this ailment: i have the most horrendous thoughts, sometimes, and am unable to switch it off. a beautiful mind is a double-edged sword. it can conjure up the most grand ideas, wonderful images, heartwarming memories, and fantastic stories. yet it can also do the opposite...
so this work of confessional poetry was heavy but also endearing to me. i am often surrounded by dumb people and it can be lonely around them. but to know there are others like me, others who suffer like me, it is some consolation.
thank you for sharing this work. always a pleasure to read you.

[D. Mansfield]

Thank you for that, you have no idea how that connection eases my struggle. In the last 10 years I have averaged mo more that 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night, that's being generous, so I understand what comes with that. I wouldn't wish it on anyone