I can fly and no one can stop me

Haven't decided what I think about this one yet. I was trying to give it a cross between a longing and morbid feeling.

 

I can fly.

I can fly and no one can stop me!     

 

Awkward stares, and then everyone went back to what they were doing. They were mostly used to it by now, but it was hard not to react to the abruptness. Kids yelled things and they had imaginations. Shouts on the playground rarely warranted attention, but when Taylor yelled…it was different.

 

The bell rang, and recess was over. The hooligans meandered back inside and were prodded back to their classrooms. Teachers resumed teaching things that they did not care to teach to students who didn’t care to listen.

 

Mrs. Hernandez squeaked the marker over the whiteboard. It wasn’t the most pleasant of sounds, but compared to the sounds of scraping chalk that she remembered, this was music. Long division. Until she had started her teaching career a few years back, she’d forgotten how to do long division completely. The kids would ask “why do we have to learn this if our calculators can do it?” “Because you might not always have one with you” she would lie to them.

 

Four-hundred Thirty Seven divided by Five. “Who can show me how to solve this problem?” Several of the average students labeled as smart by their enthusiasm raised their hands. Mrs. Hernandez pointed. “Yes, Rachel. How do you solve this?”

 

I can fly and no one can stop me.

 

It wasn’t the response she was expecting. It also didn’t come from the direction she’d been expecting. There was a flash of color outside the window and then a crash.

 

As the room moved as a wave to the window, they could see the contented look on his face.

 

He had flown.
No one had stopped him.

Reviews

[Brax]

Well the connection as definity surprising (between the girl and the boy outside that is). It is nice..because it creates a mysterious vibe and mystery seems to always draw the crowd in...and in writing that is the over all mission.. This is the beginnig of a story that is set to fly...Or perhaps a complete peice that will open the reader to fly into your other written words..either way good job.

[Zatoichi]

the 3rd line from the bottom would read better if you drop the first "As"

i'd like to see where else you might go with this. you've got my attention

[holly]

Terse and clean - in a sense, this story is a lot like a poem in that it gets the maximum payload out of a limited number of words. The underplay of emotion only highlights the ultimate horror. Nice.