A love story

So i am writing this to you, and i hope that some day you will stumble upon it, i know i am fooling myself.
I don't remember the last time i smiled and my face lit up, i don't remember the last time my heart leapt for joy, i cannot remember when i started feeling this empty, an apathy that eats at me and leaves this gaping hole within me... we walk through life and are blind to see those around us afflicted and in pain, those already dead but are hanging on to a world that rejects them, so you smile and walk on, smile and pretend its all ok, we smile and look away..
In you i found my niche, and for a moment in my wretched life i felt like a belonged..you held me and whispered into my ear before you knew me, and you looked into my eyes (King Julian) and smiled, and where i stood i felt that wringing inside me, and i was yours. By the streets, on the pavements i pledged myself to you, and you were mine..we danced and i held you, and at that point in my life, i remember, time stood still and it was you and me, and everything around me ceased to exist, all the decay, all the wretchedness that my life had become melted into oblivion and it was you, you only remained and i loved you forever...and the wringing remained, i pleasured in it... but i was naive, still am, see, forever is not infinite and promises are made so that they in turn can be broken, that love is a facade- a veil that when drawn reveals our pathetic attempts at evading loneliness..and you walked away, and left me in the rain, the same showers that we danced in, and i held your hand (i came for you), again and again, in return you crushed my heart, smothered it into dust and blew it from your palms..
So we smile and look away, i take my hand and place it on my chest and whisper 'this too shall pass'. I know am fooling myself, each night you are that last thought on my mind before i fall asleep, and even when all music stops- in you i hear a song..see, though you crushed my heart into innumerable pieces, all of them still pulse and they beat for you...i hope some day you read this but then again, i hope you don't.