Given up

Waking up in sweats again,
Another day I have wasted,
Being stuck in my head again and again,
Feels like I will never escape this place,

I’m my own worst enemy,
I’ve given up and I am sick of feeling,
This suffocating is taking over me,
Tell me what the f**k is wrong with me,

I am not sure what more to take or say,
I am hyperventilating and there’s no help,
No where feels safe and makes sense,
Please take this all away from me now,

Put me out of my misery,
Put me out of my misery,
Put me out of my misery,
Put me out of my f*****g misery,

Paranoia is all I have left,
The face that haunts me and watches me,
This whirlwind inside my head keeps on and on,
This face watches everything even when I am sinking,

This constant dance with my demons - exhausting,
Even when I am forgiven it still burns inside,
This darkness never leaves or let’s go,
This is all an illusion - who am I really?

Always afraid to say what I want to say,
My voice trapped inside me like a disease,
Take everything from the inside and throw it all away,
Cause I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself,
Not my judgement and not my truth,

I keep dragging around what’s bringing me down,
Why can’t I just let go and be set free?
I drive myself crazy thinking it’s all about me,
This heaviness has become more than I can carry,

I cry so many times inside in distress,
What does this mean to me?
I can’t remember the last time I truly smiled,
I have tied my own hands and there’s no getting loose,

I am tired of being here,
I have suppressed by childish fears,
It won’t leave me alone,
I deserve much better than me right now, better than this and better than this moment,

I have given up the fight within myself,
I can pretend anymore,
I just can breathe anymore,
I have nothing left anymore, I can’t fight myself any longer,

Given up… set me free!
Given up… give me peace now!
Given up… just give in !
Given up… I want to rest now!