When It Crawls

Self reflections

Something pulls from the inside of me,
It consumes me and confuses me,
It controls me and I can not fight myself any longer,
It makes me feel so insecure and so defeated,

It crawls through my veins sometimes,
It reacts against my will and it haunts me,
I struggle to find myself again,
I am lost in the abyss of my tortured soul,

The fear makes me fall time and time again,
These wounds they just refuse to heal,
My internal struggle is taking over me each day,
My reflection lately is blurred and it haunts me,

These walls close in and I can not find myself,
I need this to end and I need it to end soon,
I can not go on any longer the strength is gone,
I surrender to myself and whatever must be will be,

My mind is not my friend at the moment,
I hold on to who I thought I was and want to be,
This is fading fast and I can not hold on,
What I have done to myself and to ones I love… unforgivable,

This torture won’t let me go and it holds on,
It’s a farewell to the bleeding that I cause,
I need a mercy like no other to release me,
I can not face myself any longer,

I don’t have the strength to push through this time,
I need a place to belong to but still no,
I convince myself that I am enough and I can,
Honestly can I really? Or am I just dreaming?

This crawling around I inside myself had reached its end, I don’t have the strength and character for this any longer, I sometimes want to close my eyes and just stay there, eternally and without reservation, I need and escape from myself,