I'm A Looser

A very personal poem.

Breathing right away there is nothing left to fill this space,

Holding my breath and waiting to exhale inside this place,

Tighten my hands to feel the tears running down this face,

Bowing my head in shame belittled by disgrace,

 

 

Feeling like I am standing on life’s little edge waiting to fall,

No one holds the rope and it feels like this burden is mine alone,

No matter the weight of this pressure I try to stand tall,

It feels so cold like the freezing winter naked bearing flesh and bone,

 

 

Stuck on a chain that clenches the freedom of wanting to be my own success,

It feels as if I have fallen over a million times all at once in distress,

I need to find somewhere to hide to just make this all seem unreal without stress,

Lying naked draped in my own torment and hate I need a way to undress,

 

Running no answer,

Hiding no cure,

Driving no distance,

Dying no response,

 

It sometimes feels a little too late,

It sometimes feels I am out of time,

It sometimes feels I am unconscious,

It sometimes feels I am undone,

 

Allow me solace in the space I need,

The time needed to self-repair,

The strength to outlive my fears,

The courage to challenge my demons,

 

I’m a looser ……………..

 

Am I ………………..?