the curse

the life of a man who suffered till the end

I remember it like it was yesterday the bullets the blood and the                                                             grief

It all started with my brother when I was young

He became a cop and his coworker arrested a local gangster

There were at a party with me

Being young did not understand what happened till moments later

He was dancing with his girl friend

He told me to go inside and find my sister

when i walked back I walked out just to see a man shooting his friend and he tried protecting him

But failed and the man kicked him to the ground and shot him in front of me and ran

I grew up with that scar and got married to a wonderful woman and had two  kids

She loved me and I loved her

I went shopping with her and got jumped alone in an ally while she was shopping

i heard someone call my name but didn't relize who it was at the time

I saw the bullet come out of the gun and near me

Everything slowed and I saw a blur

I woke up later on to find my wife shot in her hip

She was immobilized for life and lost her fourth kid

Then when I thought it couldn’t get worst

 two years later my oldest son joined the secrets service and made many enemies

We went to top class club and he was with his girlfriend

A good beat started then I went up to him and told him how proud was of him

He hugged me and closed his eyes for one second

Before I know it there was a loud noise and people screaming

The body of his son became heavy and I saw what had happened

My son was shot in the head and but was gonna take a pregnancy test out of his pocket yo tell me I was going to be a grandfather

That was the worst day off my life I had seen my son die in my arms

And his last word was take care of her and it

What’s funny is that now it’s my turn I seen all their deaths and now I’m the one

Who will join them next I told the man who was holding the gun up to my head

He said I’m sorry to hear all your pain but I got a girl who is going to die if I don’t get this money

 (Switching narrator) the man I was holding hostage was old and very sad I felt bad but I thought of my girl and pulled the trigger

Author's Note

Plz if u guy like this plz write it on the review .if u find mistakes plz ask me and if u want more stories like this plz let me know.have fun and i hoped u enjoyed reading.i might make another one stating the reason the man killed this man for some money

Reviews

[falling_toxic_rain]

wow interesting, what you did with the narrator. And yes indeed, it is very much a tragedy write. I think you need a little revision, you missed a couple words through out it, very simple like "I" that would allow it to flow and make sense, other than that it's pretty good, nice write.

[soulesswriter]

Thanks I will fix my punctuational error but right now I'm working on uploading anther poem but I can't seem to finish it with a good flow so I'm going to fix this once i post it because I li. This one but I really think it could sound better if I fix the wording like u said to . I really appreciate it thank you for all your reviews

[falling_toxic_rain]

yea no problem :)