Every Time I Die

Hello. My name is Ethan. I currently reside in hell.

Again in this rotten shithole. The walls bled black and green; the stench made me gag. Why couldn’t they switch it up a bit! Add more color, or change a detail! Who’d have ever thought dying could be so boring.
    The sign, still standing out like neon, was there. Welcome to Hell.

    “Forgive me, father, for I have sinned! It has been my entire life, and I have never made a confession!” I was the star. “Now, I shall tell you of my trespasses, and forgive me for not giving a damn.”  I had spoken too loud, too proud, the day I stood in purgatory.
    The choices were clear. Those who held guilt for what they did went to the big pearly gates. Others... well, they were like me. Devils in human form; pure evil.
    In my lifetime, I had never once thought about my actions, what consequences they might have held. Of course, even if I had, I probably wouldn’t have cared. I was more or less born without a conscience. Nothing stopping me from doing all sorts of obscenities.
    Oh, but what fun it had been! Even in death, I defied God without a shred of indecision.
    You see, I killed myself.
    Now, don’t get any ideas, I wasn’t a stereotypical suicidal. No, no, that’d be much too emotional and melodramatic for my taste! I did it to break away from the norm.
    See? God didn’t even have control over my death.
    That had been on my note. I never wanted to live over the age of thirty-five. So I didn’t.

    Now, I’m in Hell, doomed to relive over and over again, my life and death.
    I hung from the invisible ceiling, a noose around my neck and a stool beneath my feet. My knees were locked so I couldn’t do the deed myself.
    Then he entered: The Devil.
    He was tall, pale, and lanky with dark hair that was long and wavy to his shoulders. His eyes were womewhat sunken and almond shaped with hazel irises. He smirked, lips pulled stiffly over teeth. The clothing he failed to wear disgusted me.
    Why you ask?
    He looked like me.
    “Hello, Ethan,” he said in a voice that both was and wasn’t mine. It was deep, like mine. But he spoke much more smoothly, annunciated. “How are you today?”
    I frowned. “Cut the crap, Lucifer. I’m not in the mood today.”
    He laughed, deep and throaty. “Oh, Ethan, you should feel privileged! I haven’t taken a personal interest in a mortal for many years! You are unique, worthy. You are a most... beautiful, mortal soul.”
    I spit on him. How strange it was! How unusual, to be spoken to that way by yourself.
    I knew he wouldn’t change his form. So I had stopped asking a while ago.
    “You are so feisty, Ethan!” He wiped his face while talking.
    “If you’re going to do something, do it already!” I snarled, a smirk now on my face. It was as though I thought he wouldn’t. I knew that he wouldn’t hesitate once the time came. But time was passing slowly.

     “You know I won’t do that,” he said, sneering. “Not now, anyways. So for the time being, let’s make conversation.”
    I grimaced, my stomach tight for what I knew was coming. “Why did you choose me? Out of all of them, why me?”
    He smiled. “Because you never cried out, never screamed in unimaginable agony. When they drove those hot spikes into your soulful body, you simply gritted your teeth and took whatever they had. It was most... intriguing.”
    I didn’t mind pain. “Is that so admirable?”
    “Don’t charm me, boy. I have had my fair share of those kind.” He was on to me. “And I had such high hopes that you would amuse me, Ethan... Your life was most entertaining. Never once did you fall into my traps, and yet you still managed to betray God in ways I had never thought of... When you revive, perhaps you will be more cooperative. I thought this method fitting, as it is how you ended up here. Goodnight, Ethan.”
    I felt the comfort of the stool slip away.

Author's Note

The space after "But time was passing slowly" is an add on. I'm considering leaving it out. Constructive criticism is most appreciated.

Reviews

[Hannah!]

"Who'd have ever thought dying could be so boring."

I figured I'd like this story from the minute I read that line. I DID like it, a lot, though I guess I wanted more. Ethan amused me greatly--you gotta love a character who's rebellious unto, and even after, death; they're always interesting.

I think that the space after "But time was passing slowly" is a bit unnecessary, and it seems like a scene shift, since that's the pattern you'd established earlier. It's not a huge deal, though--I probably wouldn't have said anything if you hadn't mentioned it in your note.

I was a bit confused as to what Ethan was doing on the chair, being strangled, in the first place. I figured it was the whole 'reliving his death' bit, but how does one die when they're already dead? Is it like...blacking out, or something? Or would Ethan be sent back to purgatory, to reexplain that he felt no guilt...or back to relive his life?

Maybe I'm just an idiot, and the answer is plain as day. At any rate, the confusion didn't detract from the story, which I found enjoyable, and darkly amusing.

[Inda Lauryn]

I thought the story was clever. If you do delete the last part, consider keeping this line somewhere:

Never once did you fall into my traps, and yet you still managed to betray God in ways I had never thought of...

I don't know why, but that just stood out to me as a powerful thing to say. I hope you flesh this out some more. Ethan is a great character.

[Illegitimate Artist]

I like the idea that the devil presents himself to Ethan as himself. Interesting concept. Also really liked the last bit of dialogue, keeps you wondering.

Nice cliffhanger too. Will you be writing more?

Also there a spelling error in there somewhere but I went back and couldn't find it. Blah... I thought about not mentioning it since I couldn't but I figured you'd probably go back over and find it yourself if you knew.