I (Just) Want (Power)

exercise, trauma, energy

Waiting for everyone I love to grow up.
Meditate with weights. It is in the late night
that words come together. In the day
I wrap my hands around bars;
stress and stabilize; balance and breathe.
Equalize, externalize pressure, release
Force. HELP! the weight I cannot lift,
Imprisioned in strength that is not my own
Yet. Powerful, the one goal I reach in mind
Body and now soul. Everyday I meditate,
Everyday to get powerful. I want power.
Not progress. Not triumph, not feeling.
Drenched in prana in every cell; control.
They say it’s the journey, not the result.
As I sit here crippled by the physical.
I want power, in my energy. I want power,
In my presence. I want power and I want
The power to be weak. Shamed the weakness
When weakness violated love. Shamed it,
Would not think of it, repression endemic until
The explosion; the catharsis. Overwhelmed,
Extreme change. Movie-esque. Meaning found me.
I wasn’t searching. Now I search and I know
The truth that was purged inside me from birth.
If the human soul is purged of its excessive passions
It is debased, it is hanged. What is the proper level?
What is the proper weight until my muscles give?
The reps count themselves. I just want power.

Reviews

[Pax Analog]

As someone given to contemplative poetics and overdue to pump iron too, I was quite intrigued by this piece.

"I want power and I want/The power to be weak. Shamed the weakness/When weakness violated love."

I had a little problem grokking this. I ALMOST understand it, as a kind of taming of power, or acceptance of all, but this particular semantics of "power to be weak" leaves me wanting something else in this section. I guess I just don't like the word "weak," tho' even "tamed" is imperfect. "Humble"? "Surrender"?

Brittany below seems to embrace it all as is. Maybe I'm just a big ol' dummy.

"Waiting for everyone I love to grow up./Meditate with weights. It is in the late night/that words come together."

I definitely dig the rest of it though!

[Brittany]

This piece is a work of art in its' own right.

The portrayal of power as a constant in effective, chilling in your lust for it.

"As I sit here crippled by the physical.
I want power, in my energy. I want power,
In my presence. I want power and I want
The power to be weak."

These lines are amazing, and so very well versed. I think we all maintain that want for power, which might just be another form of control. We are all so demoralized, in our passions, the "power to be weak" is refreshing.

Thank you for this great work.

[DaGirlNxtDoor]

i like it! its rlly goode (i loved the flow of it!!!)

[Kaotic Barbie]

Interesting...
I like your style of writing.