The Quiet One

A poem about me. I hope it's not conceited. It's always hard not to when you're writing about yourself.

Glasses

only sometimes.

Cheeks bright red

all the time.

Picks the front row in class

the girl with the quiet laugh

waiting for the time to pass.

Loves passionately

all at once and all too fast

but there are worse things in the world.

Busy mind

silent mouth

carefully choosing the words that come out.

Selective

not reclusive...

well not entirely.

Smiling wide

she cares and tries her best

even when it becomes too much.

She bears it with a smile on her face

because she falls apart internally.

Author's Note

Does it seem too sad? I am also experimenting with letting my phrasing change. What are your thoughts?

Reviews

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

This is full of great subtlety. I feel the deliberation in your words, the imprecision that makes life real. I like how you give us a certain level of unpredictability from the beginning with the first line about glasses only SOMETIMES. This is life, it isn't clean and systematic but messy and irregular. You don't know who you will be or who someone else will be tomorrow. All you know is that they DO tend to sit in the front row if class and give you a special feeling.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

It is definitely very effective the way you are changing the phrasing. What makes it work is that the phrasing matches the meaning of what you are saying. It serves to back up the flow of the "plot" when you change phrasing with your changes of feeling and emotion. It definitely isn't too sad either. We can handle WAY sadder. This is just the sometimes melancholy of life. You don't need to apologize for accurate depiction of the way the world can be.

[Emilia A]

I am so glad that you enjoyed my poem and could see all the little details I put into it!
Thank you for your kind words! :)

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Naturally!! It's the least I could do after appreciating such a fine read!

[Awakened Rose]

The poem of the Introvert.... lol love this. Beautiful poem thank you for sharing :)

[Emilia A]

Exactly right! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[Elizabeth Rawls]

Love this! It brought me back to the past when I was a quiet and shy high school student. Every word of this is true for me. great work!

[Emilia A]

Thank you very much! I'm glad you could relate :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Very good description. I like the statements making the reader have a vision of someone trying their best and showing a positive face. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Emilia A]

Thank you for reading and enjoying! :)

[maria ( rose)]

..Smiling wide
she cares and tries her best
even when it becomes too much.


The Quiet One..very well expressed. There is nothing wrong with being quiet.no, I didn't find it sad at all found it quite impressive.
maria rose♥

[Emilia A]

Many thanks! So glad you enjoyed it! :)

[maria ( rose)]

your welcome! Congrats on your win:)

[DrD]

Sadness is an acute emotion and can be expressed beyond limit, so don't worry about that. Descriptive poetry is not always easy and you chose to tackle it in this work. Basically well structured and expressive, I thought it was a good read. My one doubt came with the line "...a smile on her face." I think it should be simply "She bears it with a smile." Smiles are always on the face, unneeded words. But again, I did enjoy the read and inf act, read it twice.

[Emilia A]

I agree, that line is a bit awkward... Your kind words help improve my writing. Thank you very much and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Kuzuken]

Selective
not reclusive...
well not entirely.

On this stanza I would probably format it like this:
Selective.
Not reclusive;
well, not entirely.

I'm glad you took my advice, or maybe someone else's advice, that it is not necessary to punctuate every line. On this stanza, however, I think it was necessary. Or not. Maybe not. But I think it would read better that way.

Also, this is not sad at all. It's about introversion. And it's about yourself. So There is nothing sad about it. Write on!

[Emilia A]

Yes, I found your advice very helpful! It's always nice to receive constructive criticism that helps to make my writing better. Thank you very much :)