Silent Words

Words left unsaid can be just as powerful as words spoken.

It's bound with a spine,

but it's inside my mind.

It comes with words,

but also with glances.

It can be heard,

when taking chances.

Slowly, silently,

creeping about,

suddenly, violently,

giving me doubts.

Words I should say,

words I withhold.

I can't take them away,

I need to be bold.

Reaching, yet shy,

making the spark,

dying to try,

yet stuck in the dark.

Take the words that you find,

allow them to hide.

Silence the busy mind?

Believe me, I've tried.

Author's Note

Working on my rhyme scheme and overall message. Thoughts?

Reviews

[Skylar Valentine]

"Reaching, yet shy, making the spark, dying to try, yet stuck in the dark." - very strong, my favorite stanza. The flow of this was beautiful and the images well expressed.

"Take the words that you find, allow them to hide." - this line stuck out from the others as a little weak. Why hide the words you find to express? But then again your shyness could be stopping you. I really loved the two final lines, I can relate as well. Lovely piece.

[Emilia A]

After rereading that line, I completely agree. It is a weaker line. Thank you very much for your kind criticism :)

[AMMD]

Being an overly analytical person myself, I can definitely relate. Good rhyme scheme here.

[Emilia A]

Thanks! :)

[Lorna]

Ooh, this is a very cool piece. I like the staggered way you've set it up because the strong words you use sound even louder in my head.

[Emilia A]

That's wonderful! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[A. Amos]

Take the words that you find,
allow them to hide.
Silence the busy mind?
Believe me, I've tried.

I felt reading your work was a journey toward a peaceful bliss and above lines you nailed it well...

[Emilia A]

Thank you very much!!

[Mister_Sir]

Your writing is almost as beautiful as you are.
I adore the quick pace, and the diction really gives us an image of your mentality. It's as if writing is the engine of your brain. Never let your words go unheard.
100/100.

[Emilia A]

How sweet of you to say! Thank you for the lovely review. :)

[Stephen]

Yeah, your going very good. Keep hard working on your rhymes schemes .. it's pretty impressive, I like the beat of this poem. Your all on fire so, stay on fire!

[Emilia A]

Many thanks!

[Kuzuken]

I know that you like putting punctuations in every line, but me thinks it's not necessary. There are times when you just have to let it flow. Stop building dams and just let the river flow.

I liked the overall tonality of this poem. The contradiction could have been presented better but I like it the way it is now. Keep on writing. I look forward reading more from you.

[Emilia A]

I appreciate when people offer their suggestions in a positive and helpful way. Thank you for your kind criticism. :)

[Kuzuken]

You are mostly welcome.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree.
"Slowly, silently,
creeping about,
suddenly, violently,
giving me doubts."
Silence can be a killer. Make the person needing to hear words. Fear the next move or action. No weakness in the excellent poetry.
Coyote