Longing

Theres an emptiness insides her that years to be nurtured, an everlasting void

She lost control of the wheel that steers her life on track, yet chooses to assist others in fixing their repairs

These strangers lives mean more than her own, but she never receives the recognition she deserves

She stays up at night to light a candle for her friend though she cannot see

She listens to their struggles though she cannot hear. 

She feels through life rather than views it because her heart is her eyes and her soul is her mind 

Locking up a multitude of feelings inside her body so she can help liberate another poor angel 

She denies the help she deserves, but wishes for someone to kiss away the pain 

She has a strong desire for his loving touch and kind words telling her she too, will be free one day

He’s her light house, a bright orb leading her to a safe place instead of stumbling over the rocks. 

But until he comes into her dark view, she’s just a lonely ship lost in a sea of emotion.

Reviews

[Matthew McDonald]

Good job! I feel like this is well written. I think that more punctuation might be wise (maybe at the end of each line/idea), however make it for a reason that you choose to use or not use punctuation. I like the image that this poem creates. I really do imagine a lighthouse, glowing in the fog. That is a cool image, definitely. The metaphor of a ship lost at sea works very well.

[Ren Grace]

Thank you so much for your review! It means the world to me that you took the time to write me:)

[Matthew McDonald]

No problem!

[Elina]

This is such a beautiful piece! I love the imagery that you have used. It is absolutely wonderful.

[ron]

In the first line, did you mean "yerns" instead of "years"?
Very nice. I love how you show that she gives more concern to others then herself. But she knows she needs to take care of herself. She needs to make time for herself.

[RichGee]

I came back to this piece because I truly enjoy it....
Lauren in the first sentence shouldn't it read yearns as oppose to years?
My one and only critique.

[April Fools.]

I love how easily this relates to people. You have amazing imagery in your words, you can put a face to the story, I like that. It's an amazing poem, by an amazing writer!

[Devesh]

You certainly know how to paint a picture with words. The metaphor of the ship is strong throughout, and it's beautiful.

"She listens to their struggles though she cannot hear"

This reminded of me of some lines from a song by U2 called "Running to stand still". These:

"You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice"

I love lines like these. Beautiful job!

[RichGee]

Beautiful write.....a lonely ship lost in a sea of emotion.

[Sami Khalil]

Longing can be a stumbling block or a stepping stone to new horizons...You have penned an awesome write...:).........

[Ren Grace]

Wow, thank you so much :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome woesly...:)................

[Coyote Poetry]

I like and understand the poem. Longing and need is a heavy burden to carry. I like the tone of the poem. The woman accepted her place and she wanted more. I like the way you closed the poem. With some hope and possibility. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Ren Grace]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my works. You generous words mean so much to me! I'm so happy you enjoyed them!