Drowning

Sometimes I feel like in life we are all "drowning." Maybe metaphorically, maybe literally.

Breathless as I hold everything in that I don't want to escape.
This could be the time I finally meet my fate.
Struggling for the little bit of life left in me.
One last chance before I am set free.

Running low on the very life from within.
With each gasp I draw closer to Him.
Trying to remember all that I hold sacred one last time.
Drawing near to the end of my rope and it seems such a crime.

At last, I think of my loved ones and go off in peace.
Each breath fading as I draw closer to the Kingdom that is within reach.
Finally the water has consumed me and taken my very life.
Although I am no longer with breath, I am without strife.

Author's Note

Any help/criticism is appreciated.

Reviews

[lei]

it's sad but let's do hope for something better to come....

[emmajoy]

This flows pretty smoothly, tho' in places the meter's forced, don't have to have all those rhyming words. Fine literary intentions, however, what you're feeling is more than evident .. but, so very sad.

[Gregory]

loooove it

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Wow! This is a very dramatic write...the metaphors run deep within the context of the material you have written. I can envison many themes through the course of this piece... an awesome write!