She Cuts Too Deep

My mind wanders and this is where it ended up.

It's like a warm wave that crashes over you,
Flooding your body with endorphins and pain signals at the same time.
Her fingertips are stained red from the work she's done,
As blood empties out like a river heading for the ocean.

If only she knew how to stop,
But the deeper she cuts the more alive she feels.
Her arms are covered with scars of yesterday's worries,
And even all the makeup in the world cannot shield her past.

She's afraid to show people what she really looks like,
Even though she spends hours looking in a mirror getting ready.
Because long sleeves and makeup only work for so long.
Afraid of judgment, afraid to tell her story,
She hides in the background as this vicious cycle comes full circle.

Left with a decision to make she falls to her knees,
Razor blade in hand.
Not knowing what future she may hold,
She is torn between adding to her collection of insecurities,
Or telling her story to someone who cares,
Someone who will listen...
As the warm, red wave steadies her trembling hands and calms her uneasy mind.

Author's Note

You are not alone, just talk to someone, anyone. Speak up or no one can hear you.

Reviews

[~ Kimberly ~]

Jesus this made me tear up. You described the feelings so perfectly. A lost soul with no other choice because they believe nobody else cares. This brought me back to the days I was sickly addicted to self-harm. Four years later I'm covering my scars for the same fear of judgement that had me cutting in the first place.
Anyways... great job. I loved it.

[dillonjensen]

Thank you, I'm glad it resonated with you on such a personal level. Glad to hear that you're trying to move on though and let it be behind you.

[Cindy Marietta]

This was beautifully written, and so emotional and honest. It's very relatable for people who are going through that or know people who are. This is a great poem, and you captured the essence perfectly.

[dillonjensen]

Thank you for your review. I'm glad you liked it, I appreciate the kind words.

[lei]

this is deeply beautiful.. we all needed someone who cares and not to judge us...

[dillonjensen]

Thank you for your words.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Amazing insight of deep, unbearable pain and torment. A courageous write.

[dillonjensen]

Thank you, miss. I appreciate it.