Anytime

My first free-form poem from a few years back. Three years since this asteroid grazed my surface:)

My heart screams for the lover I never had.

I know this delicate flower. 

She is my oldest friend.

This can never happen, at least for me.

Many nights, imploring me to come over and slide my arms around her,

She knows when I am thirsty for her nectar.

I deluded myself into thinking we could stay just friends.

Electricity flows through our conversations.

I can't do this now.

For the moment, I scramble to ground to our thinly veiled passion.

Although, I'd ride lightning to get to her right now if she called.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Temptations. My first attempt at free-form poetry. I have never used the strike-through device before either.

Reviews

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I love freestyle which is good for me as it is all i write and know of lol
I like the words crossed out.. it gives us more to think about..
Can people of the opposite sex be just friends, or does this happen sooner or later?
Well written I like it very much.. and long time no see!

Chloe

[Ladysue]

Oh, I enjoyed your words here. Very vivid and powerful write. Love that last line... nicely done...

[just rose.]

The strikethrough here is very effective because it shows the hesitation and pent-up emotion of the situation at hand. You do an excellent job of portraying these kinds of conflicts between friends. Your narrator seems aware however, that what you resist will persist; he is well aware of the shadow nature that lurks, and tries to find a way to express it that causes the least pain. The last two lines are amazing. Desire is such a curious thing. We are animals filled with desire nature. And we all struggle desperately with it, whether it takes a form of a relationship that shifts or something we want but cannot afford or having something about us that we wish were otherwise. I have spent years wondering about all this, and if the great philosophers of the epochs can do no better than to say, "Get rid of it" or "Go eat a cookie and forget about it" the way one's mother would in childhood when one fretted over something, then I certainly can't postulate any Grand Truths about it. If we could bottle how to handle it, we'd all be rich. Dr. Phil has made a living off coining stupid catchphrases to shame people into denying their humanity. Yet it cannot be contained. It's a mystery, lightning is the best metaphor for it, and you have courage in giving voice to the indecision that is universal - even when the circumstances are different.

[JENY]

Wow…..
Very candid expression of your feelings…
I really enjoyed it…..
Very sweet….

[Antonio Valentino]

Somewhere between the fourth and fifth line, caused me to pause... and remember, and hold back, some emotions. Thats pretty magical, when that can happen from a few words. Thank you for that friend, I hope all is well you and your's.

Antonio

[An owl on the moon]

I loved the feel of this one... the emotion was gripping... You've done a powerfully vivid free form! Keep em coming!

[Ruth]

Really well done love:) I love free form!
The start of this poem is awesome, the fact that it was a lover never had, hits hard in the first line.

"For the moment, I scramble to ground to our thinly veiled passion"

Awesome imagery in this line! xx

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Nice free form... very well done... that line between friends and lovers can be like a fault line, the wrong movement can bring everything crashing to the ground... I have been there so can rally relate.

[Poetic Beauty]

This is very honest and open. It is heart felt and deeply sad. The flow of the poem is great and the use of electricity allows the person reading it to feel and see what you are trying to portray. Beautifully done.

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Uh oh .. a friendship that has gone past "just that" is what I found here.. I think alot of people have had this experience.. crossing the fine line where we really care about someone.. but never knowing it can be a big mistake until after it's tried. That electricity can be hard to ignore.. but could just be lust.

I think people plunge in sometimes a little too quick.. acts of desperation never go the distance and we CAN lose friendship at our own hands if we're not careful.. yet we're told in youth that friends can become lifelong partners!!! To pursue it.. you do chance losing someone really close.. at very high cost sometimes. Your last lines were very hard hitting..