Absence

Am I better?

I can breathe in and feel the wind tangle itself in my hair,

like your fingers used to do.

I want peace in my heart.

When did the feeling of safety when I was in your arms ever stop?

Nothing is permanent.

Not even love.

Not even the sweetness of your skin brushing up against mine.

I am gone.

I have gone to a place in my mind

where I hear bells behind me and the wind before me...

The meadow grass rolls like waves in the sea before me.

The hills go back and grow into the snowy majestic mountains from heaven.

This is what I see when I close my eyes.

Not you.

There is the smell of grass, cows, horses, and the cool Alpine breeze.

Here, I am free.

 

12/2/2001