For you

You inspired me

A sudden urge has taken over,

Possessed all common sense,

You convinced a hack, a fool,

to transcribe emotion into verse.

It was a long forgotten tradition,

that took ages to neglect.

No matter the current pains taken,

my mind resolutely refuses to rest.

Daydreams became nightmares,

Every moment captured, buried,

and each thought dissolved into dust.

My own words are too much to bear,

cloying and impossible to erase,

permanent reminders of past mistakes.

They cause my fear, considering the new,

that I could ever regret loving you.

Sifting through the rhymes,

I relive the shame each and every time.

The slideshow of images rattles on,

spinning faster, blurring past my eyes.

The faces change and days pass,

but I can never pin myself down.

Despite always grappling for strength,

I relied on others for solid ground.

Years brought half-hearted wisdom,

lessons were learned, but often broken.

Excuses were made, for youth, hope,

But only for those in on the joke.

What was my mantra again and again?

This time is a chance for new beginning?

I believed in resolute acceptance

for the experience I was winning.

This was the root of the lie I embraced.

Life was meant to be mottled and bruised.

I had to love more as times got worse,

and forget comfort, simplicity or happiness,

just be satisfied watching the recurring curse.

Resign yourself into reliving your memories

on repeat in the narrow corners of your mind,

Shaving away strength you couldn't actually find.

This was never going to be about love.

In all the years of examining this concept,

I don't dare write about loving you.

Instead, I only make one simple vow:

That with us, the slideshow will pause,

and the passionate and the doubtful voices,

might not disappear, but grow faint, 

and I won't group you in with past choices.

After allowing my past to end,

perhaps now we can begin.