Seven Deadly Sins

Look in to these souless eyes.

Can you tell if it’s truth or lies

I draw you in with promises of  lust

Just one kiss and you will trust

My darkness will penetrate your soul

Each step that you make will be under my control

It won’t be to long before you find

That you are slowly losing your mind

The pain that consumes you is becoming clear

But it isn’t the agony that you fear

It’s the realization that you’ve lost

And it’s more than your being that it cost

I own you more than you know

As your body is dying slow

Your heart will be the last to go

It will wither before it dies

And my laughter drowns out your cries

Because you made your final mistake

You let the evil in to claim it’s stakes

Now you will lose before you win

For you have commented the seven deadly sins

 

 

Reviews

[THERISA]

Your rhyming couplets really flows in the way, which you describes a poor soul's decent into Hell. Appealling to the basic nature of a person's lust. Creating a dark and "abandon all hope, for those, who enter here" atmosphere to the poem. Thank you for sharing this poem.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Wow. I really liked this and enjoyed this very much. Very dark - and the picture suits it well...(also gives me the chills). This is wonderfully penned and flowed great!


Great Write,
Rayne

[Nick Erickson]

I like how you focused on not 7 deadly sins, but the torment from committing them all, and the devils laughing glee with your decision. Very good imagery and flow, well done.

"Your heart will be the last to go,
it will wither before it dies,
and my laughter drowns out your cries."

[An Ordinary Woman]

Penned extremely well, I enjoyed this and yes, I wonder too.

Great writing, indeed.

[Autumn Dawn Gorny]

WHOA, you make it enticing and scary! Very good flow moving through the torments.

[George Love]

You definitely have a gift for imagery here. All seven? That's intense in and of itself. Excellent work here. I think you penned it extremely well. Spell check on commit/comment

[Tessa Le Rouge]

wow, i really enjoyed this one. it flowed very nicely.
to answer your thought, i think it is the hell you endure.
great job, keep up the good writing.

[Nana Carmine]

Wow. It would make sense to endure a certain level of hell if you commit all of them. I really like this one. It flows together nicely and is another one of your poems that just seems to draw me in. You did a great job, thank you for sharing it.

~Nana Carmine

[Tamme]

The picture is creep but pulls in the souless eyes in the first line. Good rhyme scheme and bold portrayal of what I am sure would be hell.