Seven Deadly Sins

Look in to these souless eyes.

Can you tell if it’s truth or lies

I draw you in with promises of  lust

Just one kiss and you will trust

My darkness will penetrate your soul

Each step that you make will be under my control

It won’t be to long before you find

That you are slowly losing your mind

The pain that consumes you is becoming clear

But it isn’t the agony that you fear

It’s the realization that you’ve lost

And it’s more than your being that it cost

I own you more than you know

As your body is dying slow

Your heart will be the last to go

It will wither before it dies

And my laughter drowns out your cries

Because you made your final mistake

You let the evil in to claim it’s stakes

Now you will lose before you win

For you have commented the seven deadly sins

 

 

Reviews

[THERISA]

Your rhyming couplets really flows in the way, which you describes a poor soul's decent into Hell. Appealling to the basic nature of a person's lust. Creating a dark and "abandon all hope, for those, who enter here" atmosphere to the poem. Thank you for sharing this poem.

[.]

This was so awesome and scary hehe. You've made some really brilliant theories and they were so wonderfully and creatively composed. Im like totally Wowed ;) Really awesome work!

Mikey

[Robert Luna]

This has a great flow and the imagery was so wonderful. You know I love the darkness of your imagination as it likes to play with mine from time to time. I enjoyed this and think you put some thought into it. WOnderful read and an even better piece to allow my imagination to run wild with.


Great Job!!!!!

[Crazy Cat Man]

i think i have done all of these sins...except for wrath......i was not that bad lol....great piece

[Bryony Hicks]

I'm curious to know why the poem has irregular stanzas? Is this to emphasise something in the poem? It's definately a very dark piece of work which gets the reader thinking about that beyond us. Very ambiguous but in a good way. I hope to see more of your work; it's very interesting.

[poddar kushal]

hell of a good writing!
" I own you more than you know,
as your body is dying slow."-i , at the time of the reading was almost feel the creepy feeling. i doubt whether you are only commenting on some super natural experience. i think it is more earthily than we would like to believe.

[Spydrmunkee]

this is sooooo awesome...i think this is what happens when you commit all seven sins

[Gary H]

very intriguing and you are probably right. I just hope I never find out!

[BrightEyes]

I think there is a certain truth to this piece. You become desensitized to things the more you accept them, immerse yourself in them. I found this to be an apt portrayal of someone who has fallen more than once, to find that it may be too late to climb out from the hole.

laura

[Steven Williams]

fantastic expression and a great read.

~Stephen