Sin

It is a lonely whisper upon the wind.

An empty glass of bottled sin.

A hunger that crawls beneath your skin.

A lust that consumes you from deep within.

It is a craving so strong it eats you whole,

as it slowly devours your soul.

It is a sudden urge to lose control.

A feeling you just can’t console

As you give in to its wicked ways,

and your vision begins to haze.

Something inside seems to sway

and your judgment comes in to play

The Devil screams as you prevail.

For he has yet again failed.

 

 

Reviews

[Nick Erickson]

I like the fight in this poem. Good or bad.
I usually choose the latter as it's more fun.
Another well done poem.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Really good, it has a real deep sinister flow. I love "bottle of sin, " great discription.

[Chiquita]

I like how you show the allure of sin. Still, you show our power to overcome it. It is indeed a powerful adversary.

I adore the use of the red and the black. To me it speaks of a struggle between good and evil. The picture is perfect too as it utilizes the colors and the image of Satan.

You have done well to capture both the beauty and the ugliness of sin. You have demonstrated the power of sin and our ability to overpower it and become the victor. I think that this piece is amazing. Bravo.

[Daryl]

Reading the other reviews, I must come from an odd sort of background, maybe one with a lot more "be good" conditioning built into it. For me, it's often harder to give in to "sin" (sorry, but I do hate that overused/misused word) than it is to say no to it. Not always, of course, but often. When I think about doing something I know is wrong, I feel as though I've got half a dozen pairs of accusing eyes looking over my shoulder.

Then again, that sometimes makes giving in to those desires that much more delicious.

I liked the poem, though, and the rhyming scheme and alternating colors. I thought it was nicely done.

[George Love]

Very well said. it is a constant struggle we all face each day. Well done, great thoughts and a rather intricate work!

[Brentley]

Good point, I enjoyed the way you turned it into something more than just about sin, its about fighting sin. You don't have to commit sin, you choose to commit sin. Here's an example of how people have turned it into something beyound that. This is from Family Guy, "..and a jar of marmalade that we believe forces you to comitt adultry" Funny, but sadly this is how bad peple are becoming about sin and anything to do with it. I think this spoke extemely loud to me.
Great write,
Brentley

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Yes it is easier to be bad then it is to do the right thing... I think we are have that fine line we walk on just most of us listen to our conscience... great flow and beautifully express emotions of being on the edge.

[An Ordinary Woman]

Wow!

Very intricate and elegantly written, yet very very powerful. "It is a lonely whisper upon the wind.

An empty glass of bottled sin ... " ... You had me captured 100% from the first lines ...
Excellent!

[Dead Angel]

very excellent poem and the picture only added to the intensity of the poem. they rhyming was great and so is the black and red lines. it must've been hard to describe sin, i know i couldn't describe so wonderfully like you did. great job!! :)

[blacksky45]

wow. i like it! i loved its meaning only most poeple let sin take over. good poem and keep writing