Sin

It is a lonely whisper upon the wind.

An empty glass of bottled sin.

A hunger that crawls beneath your skin.

A lust that consumes you from deep within.

It is a craving so strong it eats you whole,

as it slowly devours your soul.

It is a sudden urge to lose control.

A feeling you just can’t console

As you give in to its wicked ways,

and your vision begins to haze.

Something inside seems to sway

and your judgment comes in to play

The Devil screams as you prevail.

For he has yet again failed.

 

 

Reviews

[Dezaraye]

This has a really powerful message to it. I love how you've alternated the colors, it makes it visually appealing and the rhyme is flawless.

[SM Davis]

Very unique. Diana you've so simply and deliciously exhibited how truly easy it is to purposely miss the mark (sin) and continue down the wrong path. Narrow is the path that leads to righteousness...

[nokturnal]

I agree yes it is easier to sin than not to, I guess that is why everyone sins so rampantly. Very well written the flow is simply amazing. I really enjoyed reading it and the picture at the end just really added to the poem itself.

[Tamme]

This was so interesting. I read the poem straight through, then I went back and read just the red lines. I found it could stand by itself. Then I read the black lines and they almost stood as poem by itself (the last line was a little off if I took it that way) So I was just really impressed since it was like 3 poems in one. I don't know if this was your intention but I like it. :)

[Sir Fusting]

Wonderful. You described the feeling of sin coming over you perfectly. Great write!

-Dustin

[~*a beautiful disaster*..]

awesome write...loved it.

[Pema Dorje]

I liked the original meaning of the word SIN as missing the mark, no bullseye, askew of the goal ... what we never hear about is what is it we are missing? The Goal to me has always been Love and all these splendid things are made of the stuff of Love. Desire Monkey Dreams are always about FEAR which is totally not LOVE. So that would mean I give in to Love passionately in every way and every day to kiss the beloved with the same kiss the beloved kisses me and in that kiss live eternally; that would be the Goal of Love. So when I'm not kissing I'm missing the mark; SIN... a wondering write from your singular pen ...

[Charlotte Rose]

I really liked this.. very good write.

[Chillbear Latrigue]

I give in to sin way too much so this was somewhat inspirational to me. The picture was overpowering and a bit scary. The words are very powerful (most overused word in here) and direct. Excellent job.

[.]

Spooky and creative! Very good write! I hate it when the devil takes control sometimes, and your mind has to go into overdrive in trying to defeat him.

Mikey