Sin

It is a lonely whisper upon the wind.

An empty glass of bottled sin.

A hunger that crawls beneath your skin.

A lust that consumes you from deep within.

It is a craving so strong it eats you whole,

as it slowly devours your soul.

It is a sudden urge to lose control.

A feeling you just can’t console

As you give in to its wicked ways,

and your vision begins to haze.

Something inside seems to sway

and your judgment comes in to play

The Devil screams as you prevail.

For he has yet again failed.

 

 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A excellent poem. Photo made the words come alive in your poem. I like the set-up of the poem and ending was very good.
Coyote

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Wow!!! This poem is awesome and the flow is great. The pic at the end is amazing too. Nice write!!!

Heather

[Fantasyfairy]

There is always a choice, even if it is one we do not like. I like the format and the flow of this. It's like two poems in one, and each could be read together, or alone. Nice. XX

[DonGilbert]

very nice.

[Stacy A. Foster]

Clever formatting! I've felt like doing some horrible things before but thankfully keep the devil in check when needed. Thank goodness for empathy for others! The pic complements this well.

Flows well and the point is made.

Cheers,
Stacy

[DonGilbert]

a very apt poem

[Gandré]

I read here 2 poems in one, what a raffinesse. I liked that. This picture....was pretty scary. I guess it is exactly you wanted. Perhaps you like to read my newest poem - Melody Intrinsic?

[Alexander Rivera]

This is more reminiscent of lyrical song than it is a poem. But still, it was an enjoyable read and is one of the more memorable sinfully devilish poems around. ;)

[Jake Svercek]

I liked the beginning--it had good rhythm, and the message was great, and there was fantastic imagery. However you started repeating some ideas toward the middle, as often happens in rhyming poems--even in the best ones. If you look at "Adonais", it's basically the same rant over and over again. However it is my personal belief that such repetition is no longer necessary. After all, this is elegy.

The ending was a bit awkward as well. The progression to it seemed abrupt, and maybe it's just me--I personally dislike references to the devil in poems about sin, because it's far too easy to do so, and that takes away any depth it originally had. I feel there are better ways to express the loss and/or triumph over sin than mentioning the devil.

[James Mayfield]

I really liked this one. I am often known to let my better judgement lapse and sin away, but I at least stick to the ones that don't hurt others.