LOL, your's as well hey =) thats one reason I'm painting at the moment, my daughter can do that with me and its not morbid LOL... Angels weeping and crying, I think about that from time to time, mainly when I'm crying, mainly when I'm crying over someone else's sorrow,, I wonder where were they when we needed them,, I like the song by Shakira: How do you do... I think that sometimes, and I wonder, do they cry do any of these deities cry. The thought that they may you have put down well in which instances they may if they did.
Great subject for a poem... I hate to say this dear, but I think you should keep working on it, dig a little deeper into the feelings. I really think you have the germ of what could be a fantastic poem.
This isn't morbid? LOL! Personally I like your writing style. :)
When I read this I thought about Fallen Angels and the Bible. I could understand the thought of angels feeling so much empathy that they can cry for others. In fact, they would probably be crying for others a lot, due to the fact that they are known to offer love unconditionally. At least until they could help inspire the people in need in different ways. :)
I wanted to hear more about those sounds (as mentioned in the title). I wanted to be able to hear the sounds, (what does an agonizing sound sound like?), maybe you could add in some audible words or comparisons to help us hear?
I would agree with Lara that this is more 'gothic' in style and has a very definitive ending to each stanza -seeing the angels weep. I'm thinking you could alter the layout here to maybe give the words more impact. For the first verse for example
Listen to the sound
of misery,
An agonizing sound
so mournful,
The angels weep.
Maybe you could pick out the words for the colours as well - misery, mournful, weep in blue?
Just some ideas to experiment and maybe will help you overcome your block - that doesn't seem too destructive as this is a good piece of work.
I liked the fact that you interjected in this piece the misfortunes of the others of the world, a selfless act. Good luck getting out of the writer's block. Enjoyed it by the way. T
I am a 36 year old married female.. My passion is to write. My genre is mostly in paranormal, paranormal romances and fantasy fiction.
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