The Betrayer

It seem right at the time, no one would know.
Just one little taste.
Just one little taste, is what cost me my heart my dignity,
as visions of her face haunt my memories.

The pain in her eyes as my own betrayal reflects back at me,
reminding me of my moment of weakness, a moment of lust.
Now I sit here alone, wishing that I had taken another course,
instead of listening to the devils conscious as he sits
on my shoulder and whispers in my ear.

This door that separates us, it isn’t just a physical
barrier, but an emotional barricade that prevents my pleads of forgiveness.
How can I beg for forgiveness when I can not even forgive myself. I hurt her more than
possibly imaginable and for that I suffer with the consequences of my own action.

with one selfish act, i have proven myself a pathetic accuse for a man, and my only hope
is to win her love and trust back, or just die trying.

Reviews

[Gary H]

I thought the way this integrated so well with the picture was excellent. Obviously only you know if this was deliberate or not! Really tells a powerful story in so few words leaving the reader to imagine the rest. On this basis finding this new something is going to be a big part of your future work. Like the way you still keep a aura of darkness around your writing.

Great work.

[Queen of the Damned]

This is an excellent write! I like the approach you took....speaking as the man and him actually regreting his actions. So many men have that no care attitiude once caught doing the unthinkable. Nice job!

[Kim Kruger]

Diana, here as in the most recent poem of your poems I reviewed is my suggestion that you break some of your lines in half and give more rhythm to your stanzas. Your words are powerful and I believe the pacing and meter of your poetry would be strengthened by shortening. Or to put it another way, divide and conquer. :) It's really good stuff.

[James Mayfield]

The work blended well with the picture. I tended to think at first there was a vampiric overtone, but once I saw the picture things worked themselves out for me. This was well written and emotionaly charged. Well done.

[Lady Shade]

A vibrant attempt to see inside a cheating man's soul. Now, if only they actually felt so pathetic, so sinful, so desperate to make amends when they have slaughtered another through their philandering. I appreciated the voice. Indulgent in the imagining of what truly occurred... perhaps that was more intriguing to me than whether or not she ever forgives him. I hope not; once a cheat, always a cheat.

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Wow, this is a really good poem. Nice write!!!

Heather

[Autumn Dawn Gorny]

Hind sight is always 20/20 and it is shown beautifully in this poem. The picture just adds the last "nail in the coffin" for regret

[Dead Angel]

This door that separates us, it isn't just a physical
barrier, but an emotional barricade that prevents my pleads of forgiveness.

that is my favorite part of this poem. it just paints such a lovely picture in your head as you read it. its very rare that you read about a broken heart from a guy's point of view and you captured his emotions very well. i enjoyed reading this, it almost made my heart ache. well done, very well done! :)

[BrightEyes]

how true..hindsight is always 20/20 isn't it? We all fall and when we do, we hope those we hurt will forgive us...sometimes the hurt goes too deep and it is regret that we must live with. nicely done.

laura

[V. K. Harris]

Very emotional, this brings me emotions lost, Excellent write.

[Nana Carmine]

I really like it- you make a powerful point. You've expressed yourself really well. The way the words flow together really works. Great job ^.^