Trapped

Sleep induce memories from a
long ago past.
Has taking me down a lonely path.
I cry to the sandman as he laughs
From above, like my pain and misery
is his orgasmic love.

Please oh please leave me be,
these visions that hammer so
endlessly.
My mind is exhausted from all this loss,
but it isn’t just my heart that it cost.
Each night I lose just a little of me,
that person I once use to be.
Something inside me has seem to snap,
as mere mortality has come to pass.

Please help me,
Help me.....
Wake me up from this madness,
a loneliness full of sadness.

Take away this agony that resides inside my soul,
the pieces of what use to be me, whole.

My sorrow lost to the masses of despair,
flanked by the horror of knowing my heart
has been stripped bare.

I am trapped in my own head in a drugged
state of my own stupidity , all I ask is to wake
from this dream of longevity.
or lose myself forever in the bleak darkness of
death,
the only end to this hell is with my last breath.

This coma that keeps me under, screams for release
as the last sound I hear is a long steady beep.

 

 

 

Reviews

[*** Hey Jude***]

You have painted a masterpiece with language! I know what it feels like to have your heart ripped continuously to the piont that death seems the only release. Well Done ~ N

[Queen of the Damned]

This is a very powerful yet sad piece. You describe the agony and sorrow very well. The pic is great to. Fits with the writing nicely.

[SM Davis]

My mind is exhausted from all this loss,
but it isn't just my heart that it cost.
Each night I lose just a little of me,
that person I once use to be.


I don't know if you meant this as a figurative or relative write. Either way the imagery is phenomenal. Once again you did a fantastic job with this!

[Dorothy]

Very nice write! I absolutely love the imagery. I also love the flow of the poem. You did a great job! The ending was wonderful because it was such a surprise. I loved it.

[chr66is]

This poem does contain some strong imagery--the evil sandman, the beeping flatline, etc. Some of the rhymes felt as though they were forced. I believe that trying to make lines rhyme can sometimes take away from the overall effect and the emotional impact of a piece. There is some good stuff in there, I would maybe have a look at it and see exactly which feelings you are trying to communicate. Kudos.
Peace,
Chris

[Dezaraye]

This is so emotionally charged and I could feel your words resonate within myself. I love the picture that you've chosen to add to the piece as well. Trapped ... it's the perfect title to feeling this way. Thank you so much for sharing this.

[Dead Angel]

wow! very powerful words were put in this poem, i mean at first i thought that the person was just miserable in life but then the ending just gave it that twist and i find out that he/she is in a comma. very creative!

This coma that keeps me under, screams for release
as the last sound I hear is a long steady beep.

that is my favorite part, it just hits the reader out of nowhere. the picture is a little disturbing but that's a good thing, because this entire poem is disturbing, in a good way. excellent job, i absolutely love it. :)

[James Mayfield]

Wonderfully dark. There were a few errors throughout the poem but they are an easy fix. The entire piece flowed fairly well and the use of imagery (especially at the end) was superb. I've been in enough hospitals to recognize that droning beep way too well and thats creepy enough for me. Thanks for sharing.

[Yvonne Heidt]

Geez, Diana. This is eerie, haunting and absolutely excellent. I could also "hear" the beep at the end.

[Wayne Peake]

Hi Diana

This is a very sad piece. I really liked the ending, I could almost hear the droning mechanical beep. I can relate to this poem, I am feeling a bit "trapped," myself.

[Ice QueenJen]

Oh Diana- you have spoken so loudly with each line of words. I think we all feel or have felt this way in our lives. And the photo is the greatest, its like she is trapped behind a wall that you cant see out. Or like a dream-like state as you call it a coma. Sometimes we go thru our lives in motions not realizing whats around us, but you have brought out those feelings in this poem.

This is so wonderful and will be added to my library.