Amazing description of anger. I had to read again. Sometime we can be pushed to the limit. Inner demon can appear and someone is in trouble. I like the closing lines. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much Coyote, I am glad you enjoyed reading this. I am happy the emotions I wanted to po.. read moreThank you so much Coyote, I am glad you enjoyed reading this. I am happy the emotions I wanted to portray came through to the readers. :)
Lots of rage in this one... the punch lines within the second stanza really give this action... I would suggest in some parts a change in words:
The vile glimmer of loath pierces through my ebony pupils
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Vile glimmer of loath pierces my ebony pupils
My usually kind blue soul turns murky water black,
As my inner demons are woken up
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My usually kind blue soul turns murky black,
As my inner demons are woken
gives more with less.... and the clarity is there... Of course... these are just suggestion... you can do what you like with your work...
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 2 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you very much for your critique and suggestions, I agree with you! :)
You've to continue this write i must say, it's a great write. I liked your title too "REVENGE", you remind me about some warriors through this piece... Hey, if you've watched a movie name "300" (spartans") you'll feel the same about this. Your Imaginary's great and i loved your write as well as theme. Last stanza's powerful... you too seem a great writers as others're. Every line's filled with some deep impact of your write, life and Revenge as well. If you post some more writes here i couldnt' be control myself to read youse one too :)
so, keep writing and don't give up and don't leave writing. You're going well.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much for your comment. I am so happy you have enjoyed it and wrote so positively about .. read moreThank you so much for your comment. I am so happy you have enjoyed it and wrote so positively about my piece. You yourself are a talented author, I have read through a few of your pieces.
11 Years Ago
Your welcome and i really do appreciate your words that you think in that way about me :) Thank you .. read moreYour welcome and i really do appreciate your words that you think in that way about me :) Thank you so much, you're surely a great and a talented writer. :)