-february 27th, 2013-

A wise person once said there are only two human emotions: love, and fear.

Without fear I’m afraid I would be empty. How can you even identify happiness without pain?  You can’t. But without love, that is even worse. All while being exactly what I might need. My heart is ten sizes too big. I know this because I can feel it pounding out of my chest. When someone I love is in pain. When someone I need is in pain. When I’m sad. When I’m angry. When I’m afraid. When.

 

Having your heart hurt is not a beautiful thing. Having your heart hurt for someone else is not a beautiful thing. Crying because you don’t know why your heart hurts. It’s not a beautiful thing. Love is a beautiful thing. But love is rare, if even real. I often wonder, maybe, just like all the other fairy tales we’ve learned to accept as fiction, love is a fantasy. The greatest one of all. The one we all desperately crave to understand and find. But we never do. Because maybe, it isn’t real. And even as I’m typing this, I try to convince myself otherwise. Who can live without real love? Apparently, we can. Because it was never here at all. And the fear of not finding love, the fear of admitting that maybe it was never there, is how they are related. Love and fear. The only two human emotions.