The Chainsaw Play

A screenplay I wrote with my friends as characters.For the sake of privacy,I'll only use the first letter of their first name.

Scene I:
N is standing towards the right of the screen. R enters stage right with a chainsaw labeled,'This is NOT a real chainsaw.' (Revving sound,2 seconds) R chases N off screen.A shouts,"Chainsaw! Yay!'('Please stand by' countdown on screen)
Scene II:
N enters stage left bloodied and painted as if he's a Saints game. N stops center stage and says,"Aw,man,that was a gnarly game!"M skips on stage left and picks a flower.R sneaks up behind M.( ominous music plays, closing in on M's face with each beat.On last beat,flower wilts.) A shouts,"Chainsaw! Yay!" R chases J in a puffy jacket. J whimpers "Mallow Man..."(center stage) as he is maimed.
Scene III:
But just in time,C comes in center stage and shouts, "Stop! In the name of werewolves!" M jumps out from stage left and yells,"No! Vampires!" Cat fight ensues.
 End Scene:
A "The End?" pops up. A says,"Ooh! A question mark!" R says,"Chainsaw! Yay!"(revving sound,2 seconds) R chases A.( Twilight Zone theme,fade to black)

Author's Note

If you knew my friends,you'd find this funny.Mallow Man is J's nickname.