Stripping Down

When you are a fountain,
Remember to breathe.

When they clutch at your throat,
Seduce them slowly.

When you feel your person,
Hold it gently, dear.

When you empty nothing,
You are whole at last.

When you need the pressure,
Call to someone there.

When you provide pleasure,
Take pride in the wind.

When you can take, do so.
Tease no one but them.

When you are a desert,
Promise not to doubt.

When you are a fountain,
Remember to breathe.

Reviews

[Devons]

A quite enigmatic piece of writing, it communicates like mystical solemn commandments anonymously chiselled in stone. There is a real sense of biblical/gospel morality in its tone and meaning. It is conveyed in an indirect manner, using pseudo-metaphysical imagery to produce its message (also not unlike a religious parallel) and this is what makes the strength of its words more effective. The signature couplet which begins and ends the poem has a genuine proverbial feel to it - in fact, the language of the whole piece is like a form of ancient unknown wisdom.
An effective and very intriguing work.

[Emily]

Wow, thank you for devoting so much intellectual thought to my work! It just kinda "came to me from on high" when I wrote it, so I'm glad that the magical/religious parallel was recognized!