Growing Pains

There's a pull in my chest
Holding me tight
Choking my breath

It's everlasting
Dragging me in all directions
Soon I'll be ripped to shreds

I've tried everything to rid myself of it
Of this dark demonic...thing
I don't know if it's you
Twisting my head and my heart
My internal compass is broken
I don't know if it's anyone
Anyone but myself

I just want to be steaming, hot with love
And I'm tepid at best
I feel like a sponge
Absorbing what I see
All I see is hate, anger, and indifference
So I became that
And no one can wring me out

The people I want to talk to, I can't
Distance and disinterest separate
What's the use
I can't even explain it to myself

Maybe it's "just a phase"
Or I'm "hormonal"
But it doesn't invalidate my feelings
And no one has the right to try

"Growing up is hard...
It's hard and nobody understands"