Gem Breaker

My name is Adam.

This is my beginning. Before I create fantasy for you, I have to get my reality out there. Knowing can give you a better understanding of what I'll share with you in the future. I've gone by many names in my life. I even had a name from a woman I loved. I lost her though and soon thereafter lost myself. I lost a part of myself when she fell. She was a Diamond. Truly, in my opinion at least, out of all women, a Gem.

But this isn't a sob story.

No, I don't expect pity. After all, it's the consequence. I broke a Diamond. That much is certain. In breaking Gem, I broke myself. Lost it all. Family, friends, all the way down to the very things that made me who I am. It just all seemed to evaporate into nothingness. I became a shadow of my former self in the end. I became Adam.

What happened to Gem? Dunno. We separated, found other people, and went our separate ways. Worlds apart, I couldn't move on. I tried to pursue her, realizing how foolish I had been, to undo the damage my immaturity and arrogance had done. It was too late though.

You can't put a Diamond back together, much less back how it originally was.

So I asked myself: "Where do I go from here?"

The relationships I had built up to try and insulate myself from the reality of it all were gone. Life had a bitter taste to it. That didn't mean though, I would have the desire to end it. It was something beyond anything I'd ever felt before. Everything was just empty. No good, no bad, just hollow. So I came back to the table. I came back to create and see what happens in the next chapter.

As to my title, I'm sure there are those that would ask: "If you regret breaking this 'gem', this 'diamond', why center your name around it? That seems more like you're bragging about it." That's a good point to address. First and foremost though, she isn't "gem" or a "diamond". She is Gem and was a Diamond. "Is Gem her real name?" Not at all. It was actually the inverse. I simply found the bitter irony of this self-described diamond girl being able to be named Gem with so much connection between the fictional literary and historical reality. To address the main point though, the name came about from a personal revelation not too long ago. I was sitting around expecting the world to feel sorry for me, more or less, when I realized I wasn't the only one hurt when I lost her. I might have walked away in terrible condition internally but the loss of love seemed scarred on her soul as it began showing in dramatic changes in her life and lifestyle. Some could argue it's just natural change but I personally think the timing and impacts of said changes are just too....convenient. Not to stray any further from the point, my name is like a scar of my own, a brand, or even a tattoo. It's there so I never forget what I did; to provide a clear reminder of what happened, not what self-pity or emotional bursts want to remember or fabricate. I broke something beautiful and innocent... 

As for what to expect, I won't promise you anything except creativity. Whether that's tragedy, comedy, or even just general nonsense, it will at the very least "be".

 

Thanks for reading.