Little Window

This is about sadness and longing for independence.

 perched on a rooftop, caressed by the sky

evening clouds are drifting by

dwindling succession, intermittently

sparkling stars in sets of three.

 

steam is sifting from the ground

I close my eyes to hear the sound

of transportation, moving people

rising up into the steeple

 

laying in the window, sole decay

may a nightingale's voice carry me away

to city silhouettes outlined in a curtain

of dim lights and blackness, the dusk is certain

 

the evening stirs my sleeping limbs

my movements rouse in quiet whims

night approaches, but I won't sleep

nay. silently I weep

 

for buildingscapes and evening skies

and space to roam, and volume to cry

my soul is trapped, it's locked away

I yearn to be set free one day.

 

Author's Note

I disabled ratings for this poem and I will always disable them from now on. Frankly, I'm disappointed and disgusted with writerscafe thus far. You don't 'rate' writing which contains expression and emotion. I am tired of being asked "what is the meaning of this poem?" to express my feelings, duh. I am tired of being critiqued on GRAMMAR when we all know that in the depths of us my placement of COMMAS does NOT matter when my idea and soul was CLEARLY expressed. I am completely displeased with all of the reviews I've gotten. I think the younger crowd is absent of the realization that writing for some of us is not about school critique and guidelines, it is a mirror into our soul and we pour every ounce of our being into this to create words that deeply express how conflicted we are. Hopefully the other writers here can be more serious and not so juvenile, please and thanks.

Reviews

[James K. Blaylock]

Bravo! This piece to me was very wonderful with its bittersweetness as well as sorrowful flowings. It can speak to just about everyone one of us and on every level of human emotion. Be blessed!

jkb

[cest la vie]

Tessah,
I completely concur with my friend BJH..
what the hell difference does a coma, period or the oh-so-wonderful semi-colon have on the bearing of a written piece.
When you create lines such as this:
"for buildingscapes and evening skies

and space to roam, and volume to cry

my soul is trapped, it's locked away"

I rest my case.
wonderful piece

Lynne

[BjH]

Look out kids!
its the attack of the 1 Line Review!
As folk run screaming from thier keyboards and log out, as the monster that is the 1 LIne Review comes over the city skyline and breathes fire upon the hard work of anyone who can put pen to paper.
this menace is all to common,and franky my dear, i'm bored of it.
the kind of lazy nonesense that make this site what it is and not what it was.
meanwhile,
i liked this poem. well not liked, LIKE, because i still do. it's the simple things for me you see?
opening line... on a rooftop? gives it a place yes? starts the picture in my head. i need such aides.

Hurrah!
Benjamin

[deeps]

This is so wonderful, Such wonderful flow!

[JustKeith]

I really like this one.......