The Best Way Out

The best way out is always through**

Not up, around, or under

The more we try to skirt our woes

The louder karma's thunder

It snaps and it strikes

As the cold rain bites

And the storm of fate brews near

Lightning can't strike

The same man in one night

Lest you circumvent your fears.

**Quote by Robert Frost

Reviews

[N/A]

Now,that I really liked.

The louder karma's thunder

It snaps and it strikes

As the cold rain bites

Much liked these lines. Good write like!

[Yesterday Today]

Hi, Andrew!

I like this poem! It shows that you have deep insight into the goings on in the world. Very important for writers to have. Following are a few suggestions and comments:

"The best way out is always through**"

Hmmm... make that quote your own. Hell, Frost probably lifted it from someone else anyway! And he isn't the only person that's ever used the phrase.

"Not up, around, or under"

That's right! Maybe a period after 'under'?

"The more we try to skirt our woes
The louder karma's thunder"

Maybe a period after 'thunder'?

"It snaps and it strikes
As the cold rain bites"

I think "It snaps and strikes" flows better. However, this line is unclear. What snaps and strikes? Thunder doesn't do either. It rumbles and shakes the air and vibrates underfoot. Lightning strikes and snaps. Now, if the "It" of the phrases refers to Karma, I'm not sure that "thunder" is the best descriptive word. But 'karma's lightning' might not sound like the best replacement. I like the sound of 'Karma' thunder, actually.

"And the storm of fate brews near"

Which do you think is clearer? "And the storm" or "As the storm . . . .brews . . ." or..."For the storm....? IF you start the storm line with AS or FOR then a period would be well-placed after 'near' and the following stanza has more clarity:

"Lightning can't strike
The same man in one night"

But I wonder if that's true? Anyway..."in one night" is lost on me. What does that have to do with how fate is metered out?

"Lest you circumvent your fears."

Like that line.

[Rachel U.]

::rawr:: Pet peeve alert initiated. =P If you're going to have a poem completely lacking in punctuation, it makes so much more sense to not have a period at the end. It makes it seem like one giant run-on sentence if you do. (not gonna lie, this is just my preference, not one admitted by all poets)
Regardless, I liked this. Your choice of vocabulary was excellent. You had a bit of assonance with the hard "i" sound (bites, strike, strikes, night), which gave the poem an illusion of rhyme when it really had no true rhyme. Very interesting, and quite well-written. I'm very much beginning to love your style of using quotes as the base for your poems.

[Millionth Muse]

A noteworthy write...I love the lines "Lightning can't strike/The same man in one night". Nice imagery, and a simple write that wasn't overdone with unnecessary text and movement. Good job!

[Jeannie Wilder]

*sigh* this is wonderful. Beautifully written.

There's a fray song with a very similar first line... hmmm :) Frost influence everywhere!

[Subjective Sanity]

I love this so much!!!!!! It almost sounds like it could become a song. Hmmm.....