I am not a writer.
I cannot make the ordinary something it's not.
When I pick up a pen,
to clear my mind.
I become immersed in thoughts I cannot find.
The days events,
my evenings delights.
What moves me.
What soothes me.
My vices.
My frights.
An eerie calm on a new fronteir,
it is myself I cannot hear.
Pen to paper,
mind to heart.
Days like this are few
and far apart.
So I try to capture what I cannot see.
To see is to know,
my mind is blind;
lost in thoughts,
that have left me behind.
To think is to dream;
a silent scream,
"Let me out!"
"I want to be free!"
I'm relatively new to this. I started writing to pass time and usually don't share. It's easier when I don't know anyone. Any kind of criticism is welcome. I actually prefer more comments on ways I can improve than praise without any suggestions for improvement. But positive comments are also always welcome.
Thanks
Drew
My Review
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Typo - Frontier.
Grammatical - The double quotations on the last lines threw me off a little bit. Consider putting the two together. :)
I very much liked this - prose poems can be very difficult to "pull off", so to speak, but you did it quite well. Originally, the fragments presented as whole sentences were disconcerting, but as I went further into the poem, it began to make more sense. Overall, another excellent work.
I can really feel you on this one... For some reason, this reminded me of one of my favorite poets, John Keats, and one of his best poems "When I have fears that I may cease to be"--not in style or anything, but rather in the way that it made me feel. Anyway...sometimes I find myself walking down a street talking to myself in my head about what is around me and fashioning it into lines...that's poetry to me.
My only suggestions would possibly be to work on the punctuation a little...some of the periods threw me off. Like in lines 4, 7, 8, and 9. Overall...loved it!
Ah, doesn't every writer go through this? I know I often just narrate after a while... unable to find what I yearn for within me. Well done expressing the woes of the writer!