The Forbes Christmas Story

Individual Growth

The Forbes Christmas Story:

This year for Christmas my family and I, a loving wife and my two teenage daughters, lost everything, our jobs, all income, our home, our personal belongings, our lifestyle which really wasn't much, to begin with. But worst of all, we lost hope. There was no cheerfulness, no decorating, no shopping, no presents or gifts, not even a Christmas tree or a whisper of the seasonal songs that in the past brought such enjoyment.

Our arrival here at this moment of destitute did not happen suddenly or overnight, but over time from the result of being subordinate to those consumed with power, greed and ill will toward others who swung their sword of authority at their own selfish whims and desires. The result of such trauma and destitute has forced me to a point of intense inward reflection, humility and self-study.

A few months ago, a selfless gentle woman, who knew of my struggles, suggested that I should embrace times of such significant hardship and seize it as an opportunity for tremendous growth.

Though weeks and months past, her words echoed in ears, but my eyes could not see past the results of my apparent failures and hardship. Nevertheless, her words continued bouncing about within my mind, “seize it as an opportunity for tremendous growth, seize it as an opportunity for tremendous growth” she would repeat.

Though I felt it was just something nice people tell others who didn't know what else to say. I did what she recommended, but I was not sure what I was looking for. Therefore, I desperately and aggressively just charged forward on this mission to seize this alleged tremendous growth that I had hoped would save our downward spiral into poverty and reset our lives back to the normal status quo of comfort.

For months, I applied for every job I could find whether I was even qualified, under qualified or over qualified. However, the denials and rejections for employment came in faster than I could send the applications out. From sheer desperation, I went to my default move, to reach out to my contacts of the past years however this failed horribly. I then purposed a strategy to accomplish yet another degree, to get even more education, to make myself more marketable. Ultimately, the realization was that I had already done that multiple times because I have already accomplished the highest of degrees and done some of the most extraordinary and remarkable things that one could imagine. But this society we have created, that stuff really doesn't matter anymore. No one really cares about your resume. They just hire their friends or people they know. We all know that is the just truth of it.

It was on the morning of Christmas Eve while I was cooking my family breakfast that a loud and forceful knock came from the front door. Not expecting company, we all kind of just looked at each other as I walked to open the door. With my kids standing behind me slightly excited thinking it was a surprise visit from friends and family, I opened to door to have a man stick a camera in my face and quickly take a picture of us standing there in our pajamas. It was a team of men who were there in our yard taking pictures and making measurements. The man stated he was there conducting the foreclosure inspection on our home. I kindly advised the man that I understood and signed whatever document he gave me.

I must admit, that was a tough blow for me. There I was, a 43-year-old father, who his children just witnessed his lowest moment. Tears flew controllably from my eyes for the next two days. It wasn’t a whimper, it wasn't crying, they just flew out constantly. Though I knew they were heartbroken, my family moved on like nothing happened. They didn’t say a single negative word. They never ask for a single gift. They would only say that “Daddy we love you.”

I cannot pinpoint when it happened or where it happened or even how it happened. But at some throughout the next two or three days, I began to feel a purity, an understanding deeper than ever before, almost like a strength that I had never felt before. I felt peace. A calmness from within that I have never experienced. What has happen to me that has had such a profound effect on my perspective that suddenly lifted and dissipated my heavy burdens?

Then it occurred to me, but not gently, it was more like being hit by a bolt lightening. Her words flooded my mind but this time with clarity and understanding, “Seize it as an opportunity for tremendous growth.”

I could not understand before. I could not see it then. My mind was conditioned, fixated on the tangible, the things, the stuff. My eyes were filtered through tangible lenses only seeing items we can touch, buy or show others.

In the bloom of that moment, I felt pure clarity and knew that I had accomplished the elusive tremendous growth. Which was; I let go, I let it all go. The tangible, the presents, the gifts, the stuff, the status. It all means nothing and truly has no value compared to the love of others. The result of my personal experience of this tremendous growth was the realization that I was loved. Deeply loved, by my wife, by my children, by my sister, my mother, and father, my brother, and my friends, my real friends, not those who just used me for their own selfish needs. The friends that have passed the test of time. And I felt their love to the depths of my own soul even though I had lost all my tangible belongings. Even though I had lost everything, or so I thought.

My Christmas story this year is that yes, I lost it all, but I gained so much more. I found my soul again, my long-lost spirit. I washed it clean of the hate and feelings of revenge that had accumulated over the years. And it is now filled with kindness and love for others. Sure, many have intentionally harmed me and will likely attempt to perverse this writing. Just know, I forgive you, whether if you want it or not. I have let go of the tangible, of the anchors, and exchanged it for freedom and peace.

So, my Christmas gift to you is this; embrace times of such significant hardship and seize it as an opportunity for tremendous growth.

Merry Christmas

The Derrick Forbes Family