Reflection

Just a poetic freewrite

I come undone, unraveled to the core.

I am weak and I am broken.

I reach for you, you are not there.

I beg you to stay, you go.

I am a reflection of the past.

Was it me?

Was it you?

I am weak and I am broken.

I fight to stay together but I break.

I pray but all goes unanswered.

I am but a reflection and you. . .

You are but a shadow of the past.

Author's Note

I am by no means a poet. This was just a freewrite I did when I thought I was losing my boyfriend. Please take it easy on me.

Reviews

[Persona]

Don't be so worried about what people think of it - the poem's better than most around this site. The first line is good and powerful, but the second repeats it in too obvious a way. Even if you just delete the second line, you're improving your work by a lot. I also like 'I am a reflection of the past.' Those are your two good lines.

[char]

"I pray but all goes unanswered" cool line; it admits hopelessness.

[SparksLC]

This is really good! I can definitely emphasize with the last line of this poem! I love how you started this out so heartfelt, broken, and doubtful but near the beginning, but this also shows how strong you grew in the end with the last line "You are but a shadow of the past."..This was a really beautiful line. Great work! I love your work!

[EMMIE]

BEAUTIFUL. SOME OF THE BEST WRITING COMES WHEN YOU FREE-WRITE AND IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART. YOU ARE NOT A POET? YOU ARE A POET...BUT YOU MAY NOT KNOW IT. ;P THAT'S A VERY SHORT AND SIMPLE YET POWERFUL PIECE OF WORK.

[~ Moonlight ~]

So very interesting! You have used the words effectively! Seeing as you are not a poet, or so you think you aren't, you actually did quite well!

[Valette]

This was really beautiful, and so sad. Makes me want to knit you up again =p
The flow of this poem is excellent- it feels almost choppy, like crying- you know? Just saying it out loud made me feel all sad and forlorn.
Nice work.

[TJ]

this was obviously written straight from the heart with little impedance from the mind. the emotions flow from this so fluidly, the sadness and despair of love lost, not lost but losing, leaving; watching it go right in front of you. Very good job Mr. Kline

[ImagineItAll]

Freewriting can sometimes be the best form of expression, and this was so lovely dark and beautiful.

[CathleenB]

Well spoken emotion and pain. Freewriting often is the most pure. I feel the pain in your words.