Teen Bullying

Jared goes about his normal routine when one day his best friend Mitchell doesn't show up to school.

 I know I’m not a bad kid. There isn’t anything really wrong with me but I still got picked on almost daily. No one could ever tell that it got to me though except for my best friend Mitchell. He moved into the neighborhood that I did when we were in third grade but I never took it upon myself to get to know him until baseball season. Somehow we got stuck on the same team and soon found out that we lived together. Ever since then we have always been together. I guess that's why Tommy picked on both of us, calling us gay boys and pillow biters.

Mitchell was strong though and never took anything Tommy said to heart so it was usually me who was confiding in him. Unfortunately for today, Mitchell had a doctor appointment at the end of the school day so I was stuck facing Tommy by myself once the final bell rang.              

 “Hey there is that freak again! Come on J-rad where ya going? We just wanna have some fun with you.” Tommy called out as he laid his dark, malevolent, green eyes on me. He had that pretty boy baby face with shaggy dirty-blond hair. He was that typical popular kid that always preyed on the lower populace. His family was rich so he fit in with the cool kids, always making jokes and making other kids lives a living hell. Of course he never got into any trouble because his dad worked for some major company and was able to bribe his son's way out of any situation he seemed to be in. I thought about how no matter what, I was going to lose as I stared up the bully that stood a terrifyingly three inches above me.

                “I just wanna go home Tommy. Unlike you I actually enjoy my family.” Which was a complete lie but I figured it might get a reaction out of him.

                “You better watch yourself you little s**t. I know all about your has been father and your w***e of a mother. Don't you test my boundaries.” Tommy gave me a serious look, eyes squinted and muscles taught as he planned his attack. My stomach flopped as he revealed the secret that almost nobody knew. But of course Tommy would find out. He knew everybody and found out all the little secrets of the school. It's how he became so terrifying. 

                “You don’t know s**t about my life!” I screamed at him, tensing up my body and preparing for the beat down that was about to happen. I ran forward meaning to just push past all of them but my backpack was grabbed at the last minute, yanking me off my feet. Punches rained down on my head, arms, body, legs. There was nothing to do at this point but succumb to the pain and hope that someone walked by and stopped it. Unfortunately such luck never comes to me so I just curlled up waiting for it to stop. Once it was finally over, Tommy made a point to squat down so that we were eye level.

                “Now what really happened, dear Jared, is that you took a little fall down the stairs. We all know how clumsy freaks are. Besides, we wouldn't want the whole school to find out about your family now would we?” He stood up and walked away, high fiving one of his buddies that helped pummel me.

                Hot tears stung my eyes and soon rolled down my face. What did I do to deserve this? I didn’t do anything to Tommy or his friends. I just wish I was left alone. Slowly I got to my feet and tested my joints and limbs. My face was beginning to swell and my arms and legs hurt but it didn't look like anything too major was wrong.

                To my dismay there were no buses as I turned the corner to the parking lot. I let out a deep sigh and prepared myself for the three mile walk back home.

                “Dad, Mom, I’m home from school.” I called throughout the two story house that we dwelled in.

                “What the hell took you so long? You were supposed to be here two hours ago? You been doing drugs and s**t?” My dad inquired with the usual slur in his speech, indicating that he had been drinking and would soon get violent.

                “No dad I don’t have enough money to do drugs even if I wanted to. I missed the bus and had to walk.” I replied, dropping my backpack off in the closet and going straight to the kitchen to help my mom prepare for dinner. My dad was sitting in front of the TV with his back turned to me so he couldn’t see how swollen my face had gotten. However, my mom was able to see perfectly what had happened and insisted on knowing where it came from.

                “Mom you know how clumsy I am. I just slipped on the stairs and got banged up. No one was there to see it fortunately but that’s what happened.”

                “Well we need to do something about that swelling or were going to have the school calling us thinking that your dad is beating you again.” She said as she went into the freezer and pulled out a package of frozen peas.

                I flinched when she said that as if the memory was clear as day. I would still get the occasional beating from my dad, but that was when he was really drunk and just lost control.

                I went about making dinner, helping where I was needed and trying to keep the pack of frozen peas on my face the whole time.

                “What the hell is wrong with your face Jared?” My dad called as he got up to fill his drink. “You getting picked on at school again? I told you to stand up for yourself you piece of s**t. That’s what is wrong with you, you're too much of a little b***h.” The tone in his voice seemed to shout utter disgust. It was bad when your own father thought that you were worthless and a disgrace.

                “I didn’t get beat up dad, unless you consider falling down the stairs an a*s whooping.”

                “Hey watch your language young man. You respect your father when he is talking to you.” That was one thing that I didn’t like. My parents were always on the same side and no matter what, I was wrong.

                “Well quit being so damn clumsy. Your making me look bad.” My father replied as he went to go sit in front of the TV again.

                You’re the one that is making you look bad, I thought to myself. No wonder I get picked on at school. My dad just sits here all day collecting his stupid military medical paycheck not doing anything. What a royal a*****e.

                “I’m going to be in my room.” I said after I had finished setting up the table.

                “You’re not going to eat hunny?” My mom said soothingly. She was able to switch her mood off and on always keeping me on my toes. I guess that was what happened when you took copious amounts of pills to make yourself feel better.

                “I’m not hungry. I think I’m just going to study for a test tomorrow.” I walked off to my room and shut the door behind me. On my bed, I let my thoughts wander toward the idea of a different world. One without a Tommy, a dead beat dad or a stripper mom. Before I knew it my alarm was waking me up, telling me I had another adventurous day at school.

                The phone call I received that day was one that I had not expected to get.

                “Jared?” A shaky voice inquired on the other line.

                “Mitchell? What’s going on man? Is everything ok?” My voice seemed kind of frantic as I tried to figure out what was going on with my best friend.

                “Jared, you are the greatest friend that anyone could ever ask for you know that right?” The way he said this didn’t make me feel any better. There was only one reason that someone would admit something like that out of the blue.

                “Mitchell what is going on? I know we are great friends but you don’t just call someone telling them that they are a great friend."

                “Nothing man I’m fine. I just wanted to let you know. I was watching a movie where this kid died and his best friend never knew how important he was to him. I just wanted to let you know bro. I’ll see you at school ok?” This was something that didn’t add up. I let it pass, thinking that Mitchell didn’t really mean anything by it. Sometimes you do watch things and it reminds you to be sentimental with people that mean a lot to you.

                “Alright man I’ll see you in a bit.” I hung up the phone as I stepped out of my door and walking to the bus stop. Mitchell lived on the other side of town and I would usually meet him at the courtyard of the school. For some reason he wasn't there when I showed up.

                I sent him a text: Where are you man? You’re going to be late to school. Five minutes passed, ten minutes passed and still no Mitchell. I checked my phone but realized that my cell had no service. Stupid cell phone towers going down. I headed to class hoping that he must have headed in early and just didn't say anything to me. By third period I realized something was up. I still hadn't received anything from Mitchell and hadn't seen him at all that day. Unfortunately this meant that Tommy was even more agitated as he wasn't able to continuously pick on someone.

              Throughout the day I had to dodge behind corners, Sprint up stairs, and take detours throughout the school to avoid getting attacked by one of Tommy's gang members. The final bell rang and I darted out of my classroom, not even bothering with the text books in my locker. I turned a corner and ran smack dab into Joseph, Tommy's best friend. Fear and adrenaline kicked it, causing me to jolt up to my feet and make a break for the double doors that led to the school buses. Frantically I pushed through them and made a mad dash to the bus that would take me home. Relief filled my body as I was safe for now.

                What happened to Mitchell? I thought. I checked my phone one more time only to see that there still wasn’t a reply from him. He must have been sick or something today. Hopefully nothing bad happened to him.

               

 

                “Hello?” My phone was screaming at me, waking me up from another night of sleep. It was four in the morning, who in the hell was calling me?

                “Jared? You will always be my friend right?”

                “Mitchell? Yeah man always. Why are you calling me right now? You know what time it is?”

                “Yeah I’m really sorry Jared I just needed to talk to someone. Do you think I’m worthless?”

                “What? Not at all man why would you even think that?”

                “I just think that if everyone tells me the same thing, that it has to be true you know?” I could tell that he had been crying. Something was seriously wrong.

                “Mitchell, we are bro’s and you can always come to me. What is going on?

                “I have the gun Jared.” My stomach dropped. My skin went tingly and goosebumps covered my flesh. What did he just say?

                “What do you mean you have the gun?” I spoke slowly trying to buy as much time as possible.

                “I have the gun. Loaded and ready. Jared man I can’t keep dealing with Tommy and his gang. They came to the house and really messed me up man.” I could hear his voice crack and knew that he had started to cry. What was that noise in the background? It sounded almost like the hammer of a pistol cocking back.

                “Mitchell stay with me man. What happened? We can call the cops you know? We can get the teachers involved just tell me what happened.”    

                “Jared, you always were so positive about these things. Always trying to help.” Tears were running down my face as I realized I wasn’t helping and that he was the one that always helped.

                “Jared?” Mitchell whispered.

                “Yeah buddy?” My voice was barely even audible.

                “I love you man.”

                “I love you t-“ Then there was that sound followed by my relentless yelling. No! Why did this have to happen?

                My mom came running in frantically.

                “Jared what the hell is your problem? Why are you yelling so damn much?”

                Through the tears and frustration I could only stutter out the words, “He did it. He did it mom. The gun. He’s gone.”

                “What are you mumbling about? Who did what?”           

                “Mitchell pulled the trigger and now, now he’s gone.” I couldn’t control my breathing as I entered a panic attack.

                “What? What do you mean?”

                “Mitchell’s dead mom!” I screamed through the phlegm and tears.

                That was the last time I would ever hear the sound of my best friends voice.

                Mitchell was a normal kid, normal family that loved him and treated him like any other parents would. He didn’t have any family issues or personal problems. His only problem was that he was gay, which I didn’t have a problem with because he had the greatest personality. Tommy had a problem with it though and came to his house the night before Mitchell didn't come to school and beat him, calling him a queer boy and telling him that he shouldn't be alive. 

"Hey where is that f****t, Mitchell? I haven't seen him all day." Tommy inquired to one of his miscreant friends. He was sitting outside of the school doors waiting to ensue his daily wrath on the homosexual kid. 

"Didn't you catch the news man? Mitchell committed suicide last night. I guess he couldn't handle getting it up the a*s." The other boy laughed which caused a snickering among the group of boys.

Tommy stood up suddenly furious with the news. He grabbed Jason (the boy who broke the news) and slammed him into one of the stone pillars that they stood next too.

"What did you just say?" Tommy asked.

"Dude he wasted himself while talking to that freak, Jared. Blew his brains out with his dads .45 pistol." Jason exclaimed, trying to fight against Tommy's constant pressure.

"Why am I just now finding out about this? You know how much trouble I could be in? I could be locked up!" Tommy started to feel anxious, a cold sweat trickling down his back as he realized he might be in the biggest trouble of his life. 

"What are you talking about Tom? You didn't kill him. He killed himself." Jason pointed out.

Author's Note

Just thought I'd do a little writing about the effects of bullying. It's an issue that is a big deal and still goes on to this day.

Reviews

[Reneé H]

You were able to capture the subject really well. It's a scary subject, and a hard one to address and you did a good job!

[Connor Samuelson]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it and thank you for taking the time to read it

[Raaf]

Hey man, great story. Very sad and so easy for those of us who were picked on in school to identify with. This is obviously a very personal subject and you treat it with the respect it deserves. Great job.

My first suggestion would be to begin the story with the paragraph that says "I know I'm not a bad kid..." You should get rid of everything before that as it is actually a little tedious in terms of the pacing of the plot. (Note: you wrote it very well. It's just unnecessary for the story)

Next, I think you need to dig into asking yourself who these characters are. The mom and dad characters are fairly colorful, and Tommy, the bully, is fairly well defined, but he's a bit of a stereotypical bully. You might want to add something that makes him stand out a little. Give him a tattoo with an interesting backstory or maybe he likes to carry a cigarette lighter that looks like a pistol. You just need to pass the paintbrush over him one more time.

Your main character, Jared, is not very well defined for a main character. You need to really think more about him. Since he is the main dude and the story is essentially his you need to really bring him to life much much more. His inner dialog and interaction with the other characters are all kind of unsurprising. Also, why is he covering up for Tommy, the bully? Why does Tommy feel like he can just instruct Jared to tell everyone that he fell down the stairs? That kind of dialog usually comes in more adult situations where the 'bully' has some sort of "ace-in-the-hole". Tommy the bully seems like he has a pretty bad reputation as a b*****d around school. If Tommy and Jared each brought their stories to the authorities why would the authorities have any reason to believe Tommy over Jared?

You have a very emotional ending, but I think you need to work on how to reveal it. Unfortunately, it's late right now and I'm super tired and I'm having trouble thinking of how you can improve your ending. I think if this is a true story and not fiction then you need to just write from the gut more and the story will present itself naturally. The last two paragraphs have a very 'real' feel to them and make me wonder if this story is real. So if it's fiction then bravo! And you should evaluate the tone you used in the last two paragraphs and spread it throughout the rest of the story. But in that regard, whether this story is fact or fiction, the rest of it has a fictional feel to it. Does that make sense?

Another great story, my friend! Keep 'em coming!! :)

grammar: "each time I walk pass by Tommy"
Why is he covering up for the bully?
spelling: "hunny" = "honey" (or are you suggesting that she's pronouncing the word differently?)
grammar: "really wrong with my but" --> "really wrong with me but"

Best,
Raaf

[Connor Samuelson]

Wow I greatly appreciate this review and I thank you for taking the time an evaluating it. I know I have alot to work on in this story and I have gotten into a habit of posting articles without proofreading them at all. To answer the kind of underlying question you had it was a fictional piece but I also would like to make it seem as if it had actually happened. I do plan on touching it up a bit and it's just one of those things where I'm just procrastinating. I will take into consideration what you have said and will adjust the story accordingly hoping to make it a bit better piece of work instead of something I just sort of slapped together. Once again I thank you for your critique and I will hopefully be able to correct what you have said in a timely matter.

[Connor Samuelson]

I made some corrections and I'd like to see what you thought. I didn't quite do everything exactly like you said but thought that this would work. If you think it would be better with what you originally said to fix please don't hesitate to let me know.

[Raaf]

Better! Next, I would ask: What makes this incident with Tommy special and how does it tie in with Mitchell's death?

[Connor Samuelson]

Oh yeah I didn't even think about that! I will think of some alternatives and see what I can come up with. Thank you again for your help.