Desolation

Life of a desolate. Let me make this clear:- The poem does not convey my feelings. It is just about someone who is a victim of depression, that's all!

I am sad and also sometimes glad,

Over the life to me bestowed.

Thinking about it makes me mad,

I should be striding on which road?

*

This life is brief and I am in grief,

I now hope for a ray of light.

Here, my life is like a fallen leaf

I wander like a string-less kite.

*

Even the satanic sky asks why,

 This cold world here is cruel to me,

 Rather than to live, I long to die,

Perhaps that way I can be free.

Author's Note

The poem adheres a strict syllable count of :- 9,8,9,8. And, rhyme scheme is also very strict. It is one of the toughest poem by me.

The poem is not about me, it is what I got in my mind, and then I let it flow in words. I am very positive by the way.

As always, the doors for critics are always welcome. Be harsh and strict while reviewing. I want to make this good.

I thank Sir Tate and Perkele.7885, for there kindness.

Thanks for stopping by and sparing time upon my work. Reading it is as same as honoring my efforts.

I firstly had named it "Introvert" but changed it and put "Pessimist". but soon after I again changed it to "Desolation" as many reviewers told me that, introversion and pessimism are different from depression. Thanks to those reviewers.

Image source:- Google

Devanshu

Reviews

[Ishita Dixit]

I wander like a stringless kite.
This can happen on more occasions than one.
As soon as I read this line, I thought that as a dreamer I can relate to it.
Just a thought.

Your poem is amazing. The rhyme scheme was good too.
The ideas were expressed brilliantly.
You are very cheerful and that's why its a pleasant surprise how you carved out a poem from the view point of a loner with such perfection!
Kudos!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for the beautiful review. I'm glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[alf]

Hi Devanshu. This is technically superb!!! There is an after taste of sorrow that lingers after the words have been read, the kind of emotion you get when you are down. A great effort!! alf

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for complimenting my efforts. It really was a very tough task for me, to craft this poem. I am glad, my efforts have not gone in vain.

Devanshu

[alf]

Every new form we attempt is hard. When you look back in a month or so, you will wonder why you stressed!! alf

[Devanshu Rajput]

After writing this, I had gone to have a look of my early pieces. There has been a sea change in my writing skills! At some point of time, those poems were my best, and now? I need not explain it further.

Time changes everything. Even the point of views.

Devanshu

[alf]

So very true!!!

[Sindu]

An interesting read, Devanshu! Nice use of metre and rhyme
Now, even the sky to me asks why,.... I like this line. It feels magnanimous with a tinge of melancholy.

PS: Introvertism does not always reflect depression.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Ya, you are right. I think I should re-name it. Thanks for your advice and compliments.

read moreYa, you are right. I think I should re-name it. Thanks for your advice and compliments.

Devanshu

[Sindu]

may be the description too. you're welcome

[Dani The Unreviewed]

I think it reflects reality very well. Nice job.

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[anne]

Here, my life is like a fallen leaf
I wander like a string less kite....not exactly depression but these thoughts may wander in any mind in grief....you have done it beautifully...:))

[Jeyanthi]

You schemed the rhyme so well. :)
a flow of sad tale!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for the compliment.

Devanshu

[Maumil Mehraj]

Beautiful...the rhyme and syllable count was perfect...
and beautiful use of words
Good job!
Maumil

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad you found them to be perfect. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Devanshu

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Excellent!!!
so much strictness.......lol....
thoughtful and profound.......
i loved it!!!
:)

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am thankful of yours. I am glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome!!! :) :)