Desolation

Life of a desolate. Let me make this clear:- The poem does not convey my feelings. It is just about someone who is a victim of depression, that's all!

I am sad and also sometimes glad,

Over the life to me bestowed.

Thinking about it makes me mad,

I should be striding on which road?

*

This life is brief and I am in grief,

I now hope for a ray of light.

Here, my life is like a fallen leaf

I wander like a string-less kite.

*

Even the satanic sky asks why,

 This cold world here is cruel to me,

 Rather than to live, I long to die,

Perhaps that way I can be free.

Author's Note

The poem adheres a strict syllable count of :- 9,8,9,8. And, rhyme scheme is also very strict. It is one of the toughest poem by me.

The poem is not about me, it is what I got in my mind, and then I let it flow in words. I am very positive by the way.

As always, the doors for critics are always welcome. Be harsh and strict while reviewing. I want to make this good.

I thank Sir Tate and Perkele.7885, for there kindness.

Thanks for stopping by and sparing time upon my work. Reading it is as same as honoring my efforts.

I firstly had named it "Introvert" but changed it and put "Pessimist". but soon after I again changed it to "Desolation" as many reviewers told me that, introversion and pessimism are different from depression. Thanks to those reviewers.

Image source:- Google

Devanshu

Reviews

[Ishita Dixit]

I wander like a stringless kite.
This can happen on more occasions than one.
As soon as I read this line, I thought that as a dreamer I can relate to it.
Just a thought.

Your poem is amazing. The rhyme scheme was good too.
The ideas were expressed brilliantly.
You are very cheerful and that's why its a pleasant surprise how you carved out a poem from the view point of a loner with such perfection!
Kudos!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for the beautiful review. I'm glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[prajakta]

you beautifully describe the feelings of a depressed person.i loved the intensity of the piece..

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for those kind words.

Devanshu

[Ana B.]

A beautifully sinister/intense write. I love the ideea and the doubt along it.....i think we all could relate. A wonderful poem!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for your kind words.

Devanshu

[Inda]

I like it, the flow is great and it seems to have stages of happiness/grief, really well done, it's not easy to convey that without it looking forced or obvious. The rhyme is fine, really I think is what ties it all together seemlesly.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for reading and complimenting my work.

Devanshu

[Cara]

great poem, thank you for sharing

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate it.

Devanshu

[Miss Sharon]

First off I am happy to learn this write is not autobiographical my friend! It is written well in my opinion and I especially like these lines which are very poetic (I wander like a string-less kite.) Keep writing and as in life, it will become easier with time and as you grow in you craft. You have the makings of a good writer. ~Sharon

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am an extrovert. Lol

Thanks for such beautiful words and your benignity.
read moreI am an extrovert. Lol

Thanks for such beautiful words and your benignity.

Devanshu

[Miss Sharon]

Me too! Love your style. ~Sharon

[andrew mitchell]

You handle this style so well and enjoyed the flow and thoughts

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for the kind words.

Devanshu

[Chirag Kumar]

nice piece of work devanshu. You have put pessimism in a brilliant way through this poem. Loved it :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for the compliment. I appreciate it.

Devasnhu

[marcus]

I like the flow and structure, I think it's good!
For me something about the last line doesn't quite ring true.
What about 'maybe that will set me free' but that would mess up your syllable count, anyway just my opinion!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Nup, that's perfect. I can adjust it. I will give it a look.

Thanks for the suggestion and review.

Devanshu

[KWP]

yes spoken like a true pessimist I say - very well done - but I see many people relating it to depression - hmmmm - I am not sure all pessimists are depressed - they just don't view light in the sunny side - i think these days people are too quick to diagnose with behavioural issues -

as for your poem though ... I think it is delightfully pessimistic XXX

[Devanshu Rajput]

Nice oxymoron:- "Delightfully pessimistic".

Thanks for writing such a beautiful review.

Devanshu

[chandlerl]

I would recommend you read Quiet by Susan Cain. It might help you come to better terms with being an introvert. The world tends to think of introverted people as weird and that there is something wrong with them and the 'norm' is being outspoken and talkitive. On the contrary though, the book better explains that being introverted is just a DIFFERENT kind of personality. It's a really great book.

What your poem is describing, in my own opinion, is someone more relating with depression. Someone who may be more in the throws of an internal crisis.

[Devanshu Rajput]

I will give that option a go. Thanks for the recommendation. You are right. Introversion is far away from Pessimism. It was my fault,thanks for amending it. I re-christened it.

Thanks for reading my piece.

Devanshu